Wednesday, March 30, 2005

One Night Stands....the real deal.

It's Acoustic Music Night at Third and Long and I thought I'd drop in between sets to submit a quick post....

I'm posting a rather funny article by Brenda Della Casa about one night stands. It's interesting to read a woman's point of view on such matters, so I thought I'd share the love and pass along the article to you. Enjoy!

THE ART OF THE ONE NIGHT STAND by Brenda Della Casa

Ah, the one night stand. It’s a classic performance played out by oversexed, intoxicated people who “never do this sort of thing” worldwide. To some, it’s a “one night stand,” to others it’s merely “hooking up” but whatever your phrase du jour, gettin’ busy with a stranger is strange business.

Think getting that zipper down was tough? Just wait for the morning after.

So in honor of all you little virginal creatures with the strong moral background, we have compiled the top ten rules governing the art of the one night stand.

Rule # 1: Waking up the male in full make-up, with breakfast in bed and a “good morning, honey” is not thoughtful, but psycho.

Rule # 2: Passing him the phone and telling him to “Say hi to mom” is never a good idea.

Rule # 3: You may feel guilty, but keep the Rosary and prayers for forgiveness for after he leaves.

Rule # 4: Don’t tell him you “never do this” because you just did. Don’t ask him what he thinks of you because he thinks you’ve done it before. You think the same thing of him, don’t you? Just do it one more time, leave his place and meet your friends for brunch.

Rule #5: Don’t share dessert and expect dinner. One night stands are fun and saucy, but chances are, you won’t be meeting grandma.

Rule # 6: Under no circumstances should anyone utter the following phrases “Isn’t Janice the cutest baby name?” “I love you,” or “hold me.”

Rule # 7: If the man is going commando, try not to judge. If you are the one going commando, well, you already know more than we do on this subject.

Rule # 8: If the visiting party is not taking your subtle “wow, it’s already 8:00AM!” hints, all becomes fair game. This includes pulling out a diaper, lying on the bed and telling them you’re ready for a “change”.

Rule #9: Don’t play the cat and mouse game right before the hookup. Trying to act like Mother Theresa in your skivvies is about as convincing as OJ and that glove.

Rule #10: Don’t worry about him calling and don’t hold back, just get yours and call him --whatever you want—you naughty minx.

Don't forget about Happy Hour tomorrow-$3 Coronas, Sangria, Margaritas and Michelob Light from 5pm-9pm. The weather will be nice, the windows will be open; let's celebrate Spring together.....

NUFF SAID