Monday, May 2, 2005

"HITS and MISSES"....

So after surviving another weekend of "hits" and "misses", here's a recap of what went down the last couple of days:

Friday night was pretty bland as far as actual scoops go. The block was relatively quiet for the most part. A couple of amusing things I did get to see: A group of three came in late night (around 1am or so); turns out they lived in the neighborhood. Probably in their early thirties (2 F, 1 M). Turns out the one male was married to one of the females; the other female (also married) was the best friend of the female. While the younger set bounced around the bar doing whatever it is young inibriated people do, this group sorta just hung in the corner and did their own thing. Now they started out innocently enough by ordering drinks and chatting among themselves. However, as time went on, the group began to loosen up and were seen doing shots and chatting it up with the bartender. Next thing you know, one of the females hoisted herself up on the bar and began to do body shots with her husband and her best friend! Of course, yours truly perked up and caught the action with a slight tinge of amusement. Not so much from the older group trying to relive their youth; more so because while all of this was taking place, no one else amongst the throngs of drunken revelers even noticed! Now call me crazy, but if I see a chick sprawled over a bar countertop doing body shots, I'm going to notice, even if I was all the way across the other side of the bar....ANGRY BLACK and I were standing outside the bar, chatting about something worthless, as we often do, when in mid-sentence, I suddenly stopped talking and stared down East 35th street. ANGRY BLACK noticed that I had stopped talking and looked to see what caught my attention. A guy, CLEARLY DRUNK OFF HIS ASS, was doing the bob-and-weave stroll down the street. This person was so drunk that he almost fell into someone's cellar. Now we've all been down that road at one time or another; but for some reason, this looked rather amusing. I had to ask ANGRY BLACK "how do you allow yourself to get to that point where you can't even walk?" Of course he was laughing too loud to answer my question. Which leads me to my question to you, the peanut gallery: WHAT WAS THE DUMBEST THING YOU EVER DID WHILE YOU WERE DRUNK? Feel free to share your experiences with us (you don't have to use your name).

Saturday night found us hosting a bar crawl for the alums of the University of Wisconsin. Now, when one thinks of Wisconsin, one would think of corn-fed, cheese-eating thick-necked country boys and butter-churning, thick-cankled Lutheran ladies who till the soil and bear corn-fed, cheese-eating, thick-necked children. I was pleasantly surprised to see quite the opposite. Aside from the rather pleasant hostess, (who quite frankly, fit the above description to a tee) most of the ladies who came for the bar crawl were rather H-O-T. They began their bar crawl at Third and Long, and each hour found the group going to a different location. It gave the evening a nice start, even with the torrential downpour we experienced during the afternoon. We also received a bachelorette party later in the evening- a rather fun bunch from what I hear. And the best part of all, the bartender and resident metrosexual, FRENCHY, had a minimal number of complaints, which for those of you who know him, is pretty significant in and of itself.

Sunday afternoon was rather low-key; there was a street fair taking place on 3rd Avenue and that took away a lot of the foot traffic for most of the day. That being said, I had a chance to enjoy an raucous afternoon of NASCAR racing w/ANGRY BLACK, the GOOD SAMARITAN, and joined later by our favorite nutcase, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE. The race itself was pretty exciting, however, we had more fun checking out the beautiful sights that Murray Hill had to offer on what turned out to be a beautiful afternoon. Pretty funny stuff....Later in the evening, I got swamped by what seemed like a field trip for a bunch of British tourists (from Leeds of all places). They rolled in about 20 deep, hung out for about an hour and left a total of $3.50 between them after three rounds of drinks. God I love the BRITISH....how do I feel about them? Subtract B-R-I and rearrange the other letters and you'll get the picture (S-H-I-T).
And to make matters worse, at the same time, I was blessed with two lovely ladies from Scotland; they were rather friendly and chatty, however, a)they had the heaviest brogue you could ever imagine- trying to understand what they were saying proved to be rather difficult; b)they kept interrupting each other to get in their point-drove me batty; and c)the bilous mix of heavy perfume and foul body odor stench almost made me vomit. Is this a common practice amongst the citizens of the British Empire? WTF? And they were rather nice looking too...what a shame.

Enough ranting for now. Upcoming events:

MONDAY/TUESDAY: Dollar Draft Madness (4pm-close); $1 Bud/Bud Light mugs.

WEDNESDAY: $3 Heineken/Amstel Light Drafts all night long.

THURSDAY (CINCO DE MAYO): $3 Corona, Jagermester shots, Sangria and Margaritas!

NUFF SAID