Wednesday, June 22, 2005

"GOD BLESS THE QUEEN...."

Today's topic refers to an amusing incident that took place yesterday involving a couple of guys from New Jersey.....

It all started innocently enough when this old timer came into the bar. Now I always forget his name but know him as a friendly sort who likes to wax nostalgic over the past history of the bar and Murray Hill. He's about 75 years old and looks great for his age. He attributes that to eating properly, taking frequent walks to Battery Park, and having a glass of Chardonnay each day.

Now, on this particular day, as the old guy and I are chatting it up, this other guy comes into the bar. Now this guy used to be a Tuesday Night Dollar Draft regular; an older black guy who starts out talking to you with a "bourgeois" tone, then as the number of drafts increase, the "bourgeois" tone evolves to ghetto ebonics. He was a nice enough guy who ultimately got on your nerves by the end of the night.

In any case, he comes in, says hello and begin bringing me up to speed on what's new in his life. During the course of the conversation, he happens to mention that he was working closer to home in Jersey City, NJ. As soon as he said that, the old guy's eyes grew wide and he said "Jersey City? I grew up in Jersey City!" As luck would have it, they lived in the same neighborhood (albeit at different times). So they began to compare notes and I went off to take care of other customers. This went on for about an hour or so.....

At this time DALE EARNHARDT, JR came into the bar and we began discussing the business of the day (which in this case, involved NASCAR, baseball and chicks). While we were hanging out, I noticed just out of earshot, that the tone of the conversation between the two Jersey boys had turned a bit tense. I could hear the black guy making comments like "Yo, I don't play that game" and "show me some respect".... I couldn't help but to wonder if they were going to get into a brawl or something. At the same time, I'm wondering to myself "these guys were the best of buddies a few minutes ago...how could they be fighting?" DALE JR. and I looked at each other with puzzled stares as the comments grew louder. Then the old guy gathered up his things and left abruptly.

The bar got quiet for a minute or so and then I asked the guy if everything was alright. The guy had a flustered look on his face and then went on to explain how they were having a good conversation until the old guy started to get "touchy feely".
At first he didn't think anything of it, but when the old guy shook his hand and rubbed his palm with his finger, he knew that something wasn't right. The old guy apparently also kept grabbing and touching his thigh. The clincher was when the black guy got up to go to the bathroom; the old guy apparently gave him the MADAME X ass goose: (he grabbed his ass). That's when the black guy flipped out on him. Apparently the old queen wasn't going without a fight: he invited the guy to his apartment "to play his grand piano".....talk about tickling the ivories! DALE JR. and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. I've seen a lot of things in my day, but I've never seen a guy get hit on by a 75-year-old queen. Priceless...

Last night got off to a slow start, but by the time the basketball game started, the bar was jammed packed. We also had an unusually large Indian contingent from Michigan, there to cheer on the Detroit Pistons. So between that, the Yankee comeback to lead all comebacks, and a last minute rush of Murray Hill mini-JAP's, it turned out to be a pretty nice night after all.

$3 HEINEKEN/ AMSTEL LIGHT DRAFTS all night long!

NUFF SAID