Monday, September 26, 2005


Yesterday was the much-anticipated matchup between the New England Patriots and the Pittsburgh Steelers. I was expecting a pretty busy day as both teams have rabid fans who live for taunting each other. I was pretty exhausted to begin with, having worked all weekend (including getting to bed at about 5:30am the night before); but with the thought of a fun filled afternoon of loud non-stop hijinx, it gave me the energy to get through the day.

Imagine my chagrin, however, when I arrive at the bar and look at the TV schedule. The New England/Pittsburgh game was going to be aired on LOCAL tv, as opposed to Direct TV. That meant that my afternoon crowd would be cut in half, because a lot of people could simply stay home to watch the game as opposed to having to go to a bar to catch their team..... THANKS NFL!

In any case, I was still looking forward to having a fun-filled afternoon with the gang. As the skies turned cloudy and gloomy, the excuses started to pour in... First I get a call from MR. GOOD SAMARITAN, saying that he wouldn't be able to make it in for the game due to a family function. Then the self-professed "Queen of Sunday Afternoon", HASH BROWNIE, text-messaged the gang, saying she couldn't get out of bed (wonder what happened there? Hmmmm). T-BILL was also M.I.A., although with his team not playing until Monday night, I wasn't that surprised. UCONN FAN is still M.I.A.; Not sure where he disappeared to . Some of the regulars who did manage to pull themselves out of bed to hang included NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, GOLDIE, ANGEL and for brief glimpses throughout the day, ANGRY BLACK. AFRICA BAMBATTA was also there, stirring up trouble as usual. He also made a silly request to have his nickname changed, to which I turned down. You don't get to negotiate nicknames here; you get what you deserve. We did, however, get a surprise visit from KANSAS CITY SUPERFAN, who hadn't been around since sometime last year. It was good to see her again as she looked great. The gang of course, busted her chops about not being around, hinting that her newfound "lovelife" kept her away. It was good to have her back nevertheless.

Speaking of "nicknames", there's this one guy who's a good friend to the bar who's been dying to have a nickname. Every week he keeps asking when he's going to be in the blog. Quite frankly, I couldn't come up with an appropriate nickname for him, mainly due to the fact that he hadn't done anything of note to earn one. And you don't just give out a nickname for the sake of giving one. After listening to him piss and moan about not having a nickname for the last couple of weeks, I think I finally have a fitting blogname for him; except if for nothing else but to drive him crazy, I think i'll hold out on naming him for another week. hahahahaha!

Now to get back to the main event. The early part of the afternoon had a pro-Eagles crowd as they were there to cheer on their team against the Oakland Raiders (GOLDIE'S team). The crowd was really into that game as it had a lot of bizzare incidents taking place during the game. While the majority of the crowd stayed focused on that game (among others), the Steelers' fan club got lubricated on Bud Lights and Coronas, while bragging about how they were going to take it to New England and establish their dominance once and for all. I even bet NAPOLEON the dinner I owed him that his team would lose, if for nothing else, to push his buttons.

By game time, the Steeler fans were at a fever pitch; screaming and yelling at the tv's and anyone else who would listen. Their team started out well, establishing themselves on the Patriots, while the loudmouth fans began to taunt and celebrate. Very annoying if you aren't a Steeler fan- pure torture if you are a Patriot or Browns fan. However, the tide began to turn and the Patriots began to play like the champions they are and all of a sudden the celebratory tone from the Steelers Fan Club turned into one of anger and frustration... I guess you can figure out what happened after that. As the dejected Steeler fans filed out of the bar after the game, I waved good-bye to my little friend NAPOLEON, knowing that I just got out of taking him to dinner. Thank god for New England, heh heh heh.... I'll probably take him out anyways, just cause I'm good like that.

Some highlights from yesterday:

The man with no nickname being forced to down a "cosmo" because he had the audacity to eat sushi during the football game. You just don't do that. You just don't. Pizza, yeah. Cheesesteaks, sure. Buffalo wings, of course. Sushi? Hell no.

NAPOLEON and OLD FART wrestling in the middle of the bar. The sight of NAPOLEON wrestling and "hugging it out" with a 65 year old man who just had open heart surgery was disturbing at best.

ANGEL holding out from drinking....for about 14 minutes. Way to go kiddo!

The man with no nickname pissing and moaning about the no-show of the Coors Light models, then making out with a Coors Light model cardboard cutout. Disturbing at best.

The ST. LOUIS RAMS fan who kept doing that loud annoying dolphin call. It's freaky enough when HASH BROWNIE does it but from this guy, it was yes, disturbing at best.

MR. LOW-KEY, in his usual manner, making a subtle entrance into the bar, taking a seat at the end of the bar and bringing me an awesome pulled pork sandwich from his tailgating party at the Jets/Jags game. Hats off to JOE BUCKLEY for one damn good sandwich!

The homeless woman who somehow snuck into the bar and went to the ladies room to take a quick "ghetto" bath. WTF...

Overall, aside from the usual hijinx, it was a pretty good afternoon for the gang at Third and Long. Of course, if I forgot anything, post it on the board.

Don't forget about DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS tonite with REDBULL DIVA and FIRE MARSHALL ED behind the sticks.



Anonymous said...

I didn't know that sammie was gay. Who eats sushi at 3AL??

swandad said...

Sammie ain't gay. He's just PARTICULAR...