Wednesday, October 5, 2005


I found myself saying that on more than one occasion last night; All kinds of things took place throughout the night, both funny and "interesting".

First off, the early part of the night started out rather slowly, so I just assumed that it was due to Jewish holidays. I also assumed that because of the holiday, the whole night was going to be mellower that usual for a Tuesday. Boy was I wrong. We got a surprise visit from MR GOOD SAMARITAN, who'd been M.I.A. for the past couple of weeks. He indicated that he had been busy with work, family and personal stuff, but he would be back around the bar soon. I'm just glad that he's okay because when you are used to seeing someone around and then they disappear, you want to make sure all is fine. We then got a quick visit from MR. LOW-KEY (who popped in for a quick after-work drink), MR. TANQUERAY and the elusive one himself, SHAFT, who stopped by to pick up his windfall from our weekly pool.

At around 6:30pm, the bar all of a sudden swelled from practically nothing, to wall-to-wall people, most of them ordering mugs of beer by the fistful. I mean, literally eight to ten at a time. Poor MEAN GENE didn't know what hit him. I jumped behind the bar to lend him a hand until the reinforcements arrived. By the time the troops arrived, we'd practically ran out of mugs. So there we were, all hands on deck; scurrying about retriving and washing mugs and slinging them back out to the thirsty travelers. Eventually we got caught up and back on track, just in time for the start of the Yankees/Angels game.

Now at this point the bar is pretty packed with Yankee fans. Among them: NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (and his lovely lady friend), the terror twins ANGEL and HASH BROWNIE and a few of their friends. Now they warned me that they would be ready to cause havoc during the game and havoc they caused....in a good way of course.

Throughout the game, these guys were slinging back drinks, cracking jokes, taking photos and being lovable, loud and obnoxious. At one point, these guys from Brooklyn came in and one of them happened to be wearing a NY Yankees T-Shirt with FARRELL'S Pub on the front. ANGEL saw this shirt and all of a sudden went beserk! She had to have this shirt at all costs. She dragged HASH BROWNIE over to the guys and tried to haggle with the guy to give up the shirt and the guy refused. I think ANGEL even tried to broker some sexual favors (via HASH BROWNIE) for the shirt, alas to no avail. I think one of the funniest lines I heard last night came from ANGEL when she was asked what she was willing to do for it (the shirt). She blurted out matteroffactly: "I'd do anal for it....but only with lube..." I don't think she realized how funny that sounded coming out of her mouth, nor did she realize how funny the reactions of the people standing around her was. You can't make this stuff up. Photos are forthcoming.

As the night went on, we had the usual array of antics that one would expect for a Tuesday night. I turned away quite a few underaged folks; That being said, it never fails how dumb some folks are when they try to use false ID's. If you are going to attempt to use another ID, at least TRY to match up to the stats.... If you have a license that says that you are 5'7", blond hair and blue eyes and 110lbs, yet you come in at 5'2, red hair, green eyes and tipping the scales at a conservative 145lbs, then chances are pretty good that you aren't who you say you are. And when you call them on it and they get mad at you, that's the icing on the cake. I tell ya, you can't make this stuff up.

As the Yankees were winning their game, the thirsty travelers were putting the mugs away with reckless abandon. We actually ran out of Bud AND Bud Light- a rarity for a Tuesday night. Eventually the Bronx Bombers won and everyone celebrated. By then it was close to midnight and the bar began to clear out afterwards. There were a lot of drunken revelers from other bars trying to get in for some extra drinks, so I found myself turning a lot of them away.

All told, it was a pretty good night. I'm sure I didn't catch everything here that happened, so feel free to chime in!

Game 2 of Yankees/Angels begins at 10pm on Wednesday. We'll be ready for the game with $3 Heineken/Amstel Light drafts all night long. Oh and by the way, just in case you didn't know: NHL HOCKEY IS BACK! GAME ON!



Anonymous said...

a) I did not go beserk.

b) I think someone asked if I would do anal for it, and I'm 90% sure it was ND. So I said jokingly, "Sure with lube." not like I'm just screaming out things like that.

c) still upset he didn't give up the shirt. He did say maybe...who was that guy?

swandad said...

Why of course not, luv. And you didn't ask the next five customers coming into the bar if they had lube tube either...

Anonymous said...

you are SUCH an exaggerator!!

Anonymous said...

Pictures have been sent to everyone....

swandad said...

No dear, you are in denial... heh heh heh