Friday, November 11, 2005

HELL HATH NO FURY THAN A PISSED SEXY BLONDE...

I was expecting a busy Thursday night for a couple of reasons: 1) the whole strip had been a bit slow throughout the week and it was due for a pickup. 2) it was the night before a long weekend (Veteran's Day) and the night before a long weekend is usually a busy one because most folks will have the pleasure of sleeping in. So with me still feeling under the weather, I went to work hoping that it would indeed be a busy night, if for nothing else, so that the night would fly by quickly and that I can go back to bed.

The night itself was interesting in that while it was pretty steady, it wasn't jumpin' like I thought it would. The block itself was the same way: steady but not jumpin'. I did notice that there were a lot of tourists milling about. Groups of people from Texas, Ohio, Missouri, Louisiana and Colorado, from what I could remember off the top of my head. You can always tell if someone was from out of town; they were a bit too dressed up- not formal, mind you, but overly neat. They also had eager facial expressions when walking down the street- and always in groups. And believe me, we got our share.

While the night itself was okay, the highlight was when a couple came in at around midnight. The male I wasn't familiar with; the female, however, was someone I'd seen in the bar many times in the past. The thing that stood out with her was that she had an obnoxious-looking overbite and that she would always whip out her bootleg IPOD and play songs for her and her boyfriend at the bar. She'd put one ear pod in her ear and the other in his ear, and she'd dance for him. Weird stuff.

So I'm at the door, not really doing much of anything- scanning the crowd and watching the TV, when I hear what sounded like shouting from the bar area. I look up and there's IPOD GIRL and SEXY BLONDE, having a heated debate. I casually walk over to the girls and I overhear what sounded like a debate over what goes into a Tom Collins. Apparently IPOD GIRL asked for a Tom Collins and while SEXY BLONDE was in the process of making it, IPOD GIRL got a bit agitated at the fact that the drink hadn't come fast enough; then got upset when she thought that SEXY BLONDE made a mistake with her drink. To SEXY BLONDE's credit, she maintained her composure as long as possible, but when IPOD GIRL kept being a bitch about the drink...BOOM! The blonde volcano exploded and SEXY BLONDE put her in her place, like she was a lawyer on BOSTON LEGAL or something. She told her what the proper ingredients was for a Tom Collins, then proceeded to whip out the drink book to back up her point. After all of that, IPOD GIRL couldn't really say anything, but grumbled to her stunned-silent boy toy. I then pulled SEXY BLONDE from behind the bar and took her outside for a time-out. I could see the veins popping on her neck- I knew then that doll-baby was P-I-S-S-E-D! She told me that she had never in the two years of working at the bar, encountered such a "bitch" like that. I was proud of the fact that she didn't put a can of whoop-ass on IPOD GIRL (who was incidentally, a drunken mess). Needless to say, IPOD GIRL was dragged out by her boy toy a few minutes later, amidst a smattering of applause by some of the onlookers sitting nearby. Within five minutes, SEXY BLONDE was back to her happy-go-lucky self, as if nothing ever happened. You can't make this stuff up.

The rest of the night went pretty smoothly with no other incidents. Overall, a pretty good night.

SWANFATHER SONG OF THE WEEK: "Tribulations" by LCD SOUNDSYSTEM

FRIDAY NIGHT: Happy Hour- 5pm to 9pm. $3 Domestic Drafts and $5 Cosmos/Appletinis and Frozen Margaritas. Live DJ all night!

Still waiting patiently for a damsel to come to my aid with some Chicken Soup for the Soul....

NUFF SAID