Yesterday I found myself holding down the day shift for MEAN GENE. Nothing exciting, just your typical day filled with deliveries and stocking up for the week. As the happy hour crowd began to trickle in, I met up with MR. LOW-KEY and MR. TANQUERAY and the GOOD SAMARITAN for some funtime chit-chat. At this point I recounted a funny incident that took place the night before:
Last night (Tuesday) was for some unknown reason, the slowest Tuesday night I'd ever seen. The highlight of the evening came pretty late when this young blonde Russian chick came into the bar. Now I'd met her a couple of weeks earlier and the thing that I noticed about her right off was that she liked to talk. I mean REALLY TALK. A real Chatty-Cathy. So on this particular night, as soon as she came in, I felt myself rolling my eyes because I knew I was in for an ear-beatdown. And of course, she goes to the bar, orders her drink and then proceed to talk my ear off for the next half hour. About what? I couldn't tell you because my eyes glazed over at the ten minute mark of the conversation.
At about the half-hour mark of the chatty marathon, this girl comes to the door and shows me her ID. She clearly looks about 16, maybe 17 on a good day, and her driver's license says "1987". So I chuckled to myself and told her to come back when she's 21. She tries to convince me that she's of age and I told her no. She then goes outside and around the corner of the bar and makes a cellphone call. A minute or so later, a guy comes outside from the bar and starts talking to her. They go around the corner and he takes off his sweatshirt. She takes off her jacket and the next thing you know, she's standing on East 35th street T-O-P-L-E-S-S!!!! The whole bar is watching this take place, more amused than shocked. The Russian chick sees this and is immediately disgusted by this. This goes on for about another two minutes and then the guy comes back into the bar, with the girl following close behind.
I laughed to myself as I stopped the girl once again. She tries to play dumb and give me another person's ID. I looked at the ID, laughed at the girl and told her to leave. She asked for the ID back and I told her that it was being confiscated. She threw a hissy fit and threatened to call the cops, at which I suggested that she do so. She then calls the cops and complains that someone took her ID. The Russian chick then comes out and begins to berate the girl, yelling about how disgusting she was for standing outside naked; for being underage and disrespecting the bouncer. Next thing you know, the underage girl and the Russian chick are going at it in the middle of the sidewalk. It was rather comical. Eventually the underage girl leaves with her boyfriend. The cops show up much later (as usual); when asked what happened, I recounted the whole story and the cop laughed and walked away. You can't make this stuff up.
As the guys and I were laughing at the story, there was a familiar looking face sitting at the end of the bar. Turns out it was former New York Mets pitching ace RON DARLING. Apparently he is going to be staying in the neighborhood for the next couple of weeks while his apartment is being readied for a Feb 1 opening. He is scheduled to be the new Mets announcer on their new Sports Network. A really nice guy, that's for sure. He was also in the SHALLOW HAL movie. So keep an eye out as you will probably see him walking about in the neighborhood.
Tonight is LITE NITE THURSDAYS ($4 all light beers). Stop by after work!
NUFF SAID
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