Wednesday, February 1, 2006

"X" MARKS HER SPOT AGAIN!

Last night started out slowly, but ended up turning into an interesting night. DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS was in full effect, however, the mad rush of people that we usually get after work didn't take effect until later in the evening. When the bar began to fill up, one of the patrons who eased her way into the bar was none other than MADAME X!

Now for those of you who are out of the loop, MADAME X is one of best known patrons. She's as unique as they get. She is a bit of a loner, which for most of us is unusual in a bar setting, but for her, it's the perfect scenario. MADAME X is one of those individuals who seems to have a set of personalities that comes and goes as it pleases. One minute you'll find her staring catatonically into space; a minute or so later, she'll be laughing hysterically; only to be crying five minutes later. She also has a nasty habit of picking her nose and leaving her findings in shredded napkins on the bar. I've seen guys go up to her and try to strike up a conversation with her; In many cases, they actually think they are having a conversation with her, only to find that she hasn't taken in a single word, lost in her own world.

The unique thing about this unique individual (and H.B.E. came up with this observation), is that she is an awesome closer. We don't know what she says or does, but she will mumble something to a guy and next thing you know, they are making out hot and heavy, and then she's leading him out the door. What happens to the guy is unknown (although for some reason, images of a guy shackled in irons with a buttplug and a muzzle comes to mind), but she hooks up like a champ.

I bring this up because as I mentioned before, MADAME X was chilling out at her usual spot by the bar, channeling the cosmos through the TV. In comes this guy, a semi-regular of the bar and a good friend of the staff. (he shall remain nameless for obvious reasons). Now this guy is feeling no pain, obviously coming from a night of partying. He makes his greetings around the bar and somehow ends up next to the MADAME. He somehow gets into a conversation with the MADAME and I began to chuckle to myself. She had that glazed-over look that one is accustomed to seeing from her when she's in Bizzaro-land. Yet, my man kept persisting, talking to her, buying her shots, etc. At one point, as I came upstairs from the bathroom, I hear H.B.E. yelling out: "Blank blank, NO! DON'T DO IT!" But it was too late.... Our friend was making out with the MADAME.... tongue kissing her in the mouth and everything! H.B.E.'s cries was enough to startle our friend and get him to stop. He looked around embarrassingly while she went back to her catatonic state. He ended up leaving a short time later, while she ended up closing the bar...and leaving a bar full of snotty napkins behind her.

Later in the evening, I met up with the CUSACK BOYS, who stopped by to celebrate the birthday of one of the boys. During the course of our conversation, we got into an interesting debate about the Oscars. The debate turned to the topic of movie directors. One of the BOYS thought that STANLEY KUBRICK and QUENTIN TARENTINO should be ranked as the top directors of the past century, or at the very least, the past half century. After letting out a hearty laugh, I respectfully disagreed. So I am leaving the topic for you, the readers, to decide: WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST MOVIE DIRECTOR OF THE PAST 50 YEARS? I'll post a mini-poll asking the same question; Meanwhile, feel free to share your feedback here.

WELL, tonight the night! I am inviting everyone to celebrate the blog's First Anniversary with me tonight at Third and Long! The past year has been a great ride, both for the blog and for myself personally, as I've found myself enjoying the stories and the people behind the stories. I hope that there are many more years to come with the blog and who knows what may come of it? In any case, stop by at around 7-ish and let's share some drinks and stories! I hear a lot of the regulars plan on stopping by so there should be a lot of good entries for tomorrow! $3 COORS LIGHT, BLUE MOON, MOLSON CANADIAN and MOLSON TRIPLE X (I dare you to have a couple of those) as well as $3 mugs of margaritas all night long! Please stop by if you are in the neighborhood, should be fun!

NUFF SAID