Saturday, March 18, 2006

POST ST. PAT'S DAY REPORT

St. Patrick's Day lived up to its expectations as a day of fun, hijinks and the celebration of anything green. After going to bed at around 5am the night before, I found myself up at around 8am to set up for what would be a V-E-R-Y long day. I had to make sure we got our Porta-Potty delivery (which from many accounts, was a genius idea); Then there was the basic details that had to be in place; making sure we had enough cups, beers, etc. to ensure that everyone would be happy throughout the day. This went on until about 11am; at which I snuck off for a quick nap, knowing that it would be the only rest I would have for the rest of the day- looking forward to at least 13 straight hours on my feet, most of them standing on a wooden box.



I woke up at around 1pm with a phone call from a sexy, yet familiar voice: HASHBROWNIE was back in town and demanded my presence at the bar. After pleading with her for a few minutes for a quick shower, I finally made my way down to the bar where I met up with the beautiful blonde favorite of the bar. She was hanging out in her familiar corner of the bar, catching up with an old work colleague. There were a couple of other regulars hanging out with her as well: SHAFT and his sidekick T.H. (whom I affectionately dubbed "Bacardi and Coke"), DALE EARNHARDT, JR., MR. LOW-KEY and the NURSING STUDENT.

While they were hanging out and enjoying the musical stylings of various Irish bands, HASHBROWNIE and I got a brief moment to chat. First of all, I have to say that she looks GREAT! The Florida sunshine really agrees with her as she looked very relaxed and tan. She shared with me how she really enjoys reading the blog and that even though she's now living in Florida, she feels that by reading the blog, she is still a part of the everyday happenings of the bar. She also complimented me on my writing, which was very sweet. Not to sound like a sap, but it was actually a brief, yet touching moment.

By then, the crowds were starting to file in. The morning and early afternoon was steady, but comfortable in that you could still relax and have conversations without having to yell out loud. MEAN GENE was getting into the spirit of the day with his leprechaun outfit. The regular cast of characters also began to file in. First to arrive as always was AFRIKA BAMBATTA, who also took notice at how great HASHBROWNIE looked. Soon after, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE and SUSHI SAMBA showed up, followed by ANGEL and CRIMSON CAMEL TOE. The drinks really began to flow and somehow, AFRIKA BAMBATTA ended up with my camera and began taking copious amounts of pics, of which most were unusable, because the idiot kept getting his thumb in the way of the lens.



Not much longer after that, the place all of a sudden got hit with a swell of revelers and the place was packed! This is the part of the day that I dread the most. When the place gets packed like sardines and everyone wants to get in, you try to explain to them that they can't get in, not because we don't like them, but simply because there's NO ROOM! I was getting hit from both sides of the fence all afternoon. From the outside, you'll have someone that will walk up to the door, cutting in front of a line of people who'd been patiently waiting to get in and freezing their asses off, and plead with you to let them and ten of their friends in. When you explain to them that it isn't possible at the moment, you would think that i'd kidnapped their baby or killed their dog or something; On the other side, you would have someone who was already inside, who would then plead with you to get their friend in from outside; some would even brazenly walk outside and pull their friend off the line or from off the street and try to pull them inside, again, at the price of the line of people who were patiently waiting to get in. And did I mention the "namedroppers"? Everyone is a friend of the owner on this day, as if dropping this person's name is going to do you any good if there's no room? As if dropping the owner's name will miraculously open up a secret door into a larger room full of V.I.P.'s? Sorry, but this ain't that type of place. What is most amusing is when someone drops the name of the owner ("Hey, I know so-and-so and they are expecting me...") and the owner is standing right there and they are obviously clueless as to who the owner really is. D'uh! As the night went on, this kept happening more and more and I could feel my blood pressure rising by the hour.

Now I know most people mean well, but in their inebriated they fail to realize the tough and awkward situation they put me in each time. For example, I had one guy who's name I won't mention, show up with about ten of his friends, all of them with various levels of shitfacetness (is that a new word) and wanting me to get them all in; Not only did they want me to squeeze them in front of a line of annoyed people waiting a long time to get in, but also in front of my boss, who had just told me a minute earlier not to let in anyone else due to capacity. When I said that I couldn't do it, the guy gives me the sad puppy face , shaking his head like as if i'd killed Old Yeller. What could I do? And in this case, it was just as well that he didn't come in, because he was so tanked and the place was so crowded, that it was just asking for trouble had he been allowed to hang out. I feel bad on one hand because I hate to turn away a friend, but at the same time, if I am saying no, then respect the fact that it's for a good reason. Often times, this is indeed a thankless job.

As the night went on, the DJ came in and turned the place into a funky club atmosphere with great dance music getting the crowd into the groove. All kinds of craziness started to happen with lots of make-out sessions and an amusing story of a couple caught in the ladies room stall. As luck would have it, H.B.E.'s girlfriend went to the bathroom and noticed two pairs of feet in one of the stalls: a pair of feet in a pair of high-heeled pumps, and another pair wearing Addias sneakers. She mentioned something to our barback SPIDER, who then said something to H.B.E. Being the good soldier, both H.B.E. and SPIDER went to break up the situation and it turned out that the couple in the stall were really two chicks who happened to take the moment to give each other breast exams, ahem, if you will; one of the chicks being one of our "regulars".....hmmmm. This regular was a bit embarrassed about what happened, quickly forgot about it moments later as she was found in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of a suggestive dance with another guy and girl. Hot stuff at Third and Long!

Towards the end of the night, the day's activities was beginning to take its toll on the revelers as people began to drop like flies. Even some of our own (like TEACHERS PET, celebrating her birthday) found themselves down for the count.

You knew the night was a bizarre one when towards the end of the night A drunken reveler entered the bar with a happy smile on his face, munching on a box of LUCKY CHARMS. After dealing with shit the whole day, I couldn't help but to laugh. A welcomed change of pace. After it was all said and done, sans for a minor scuffle here or there, we got through the night pretty much unscathed. Everyone for the most part had a good time, the bar did well and I survived another St. Paddy's Day intact. Thank god.

Now I really need a vacation.....

NUFF SAID