Wednesday, March 15, 2006

"X MARKS HER SPOT....AGAIN"

The infamous MADAME X made another appearance last night, this time dressed like a "hip-hop b-boy", clad in a trendy grey track suit with one pant leg rolled up and a white baseball cap, tilted to the side. I swear, all that was missing was the phat gold chain and a boom box, and you would have thought she was a reincarnation of "Crazy Legs" from the old "BEAT STREET" breakdance movies from the '80's.

I was in the middle of proofing a couple of ladies when she all of a sudden, popped in the door and lunged at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and dragging me close to her. Imagine the startled looks of the ladies as I tried to use my Matrix red pill-green pill move to dodge her outstretched hands, to no avail. As she yanked my neck closer to her, I tried in vain to wrestle out of her grasp, while my colleagues H.B.E., P-DIDDY, the RUNNING MAN and regulars like THE CUSACK BOYS laughed at what was taking place. I finally succumbed and she kissed me on the cheek and mumbled a hard-to-decipher "hello". I immediately pulled away from her and told her to go away as I was dealing with customers. She sauntered off and made her way to the end of the bar, and sat next to a lonely guy, who had been nursing dollar mugs for most of the night. The guy himself was nothing to get excited about. A white-collar type (probably an accountant or something like that), he comes in once in a while, usually on Monday or Tuesday for dollar drafts.

The "X" sat down next to the guy, orders her beers and began her usual ritual of staring blankly at the TV, laughing at nothing. This lasts about five minutes until she makes her way to the restroom, for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, she returns from the loo and makes her way back to her seat. Now at this point, you can tell that she had a few drinks in her already, but to what extent was still unclear. But she was definately lit like a Christmas tree.

Within FIVE minutes (and I mean literally five minutes), she engages in conversation with the guy and soon after that, BAM! They are making out like two kids at a drive-in movie. This went on for what seemed like forever, and the staff and I were hysterically laughing as it looked as if MADAME X had indeed snared another victim. After about a half-hour of non-stop making out and groping, the both of them staggered out of the bar and she eventually led her charge back to her "Den of the Abyss", A.K.A. her apartment. Bizarre indeed.

"X" marks her spot again.

MARCH MADNESS begins tomorrow, so make sure you have your tourney picks in order! This will be the best three weeks in sports, so hang on as it will be a bumpy ride!

TONIGHT: MOLSON HOCKEY NIGHT with $3 Molson Canadian, Coors Light, Blue Moon Ale and Molson Triple X all night long, as well as some great hockey action from all over the country via NHL CENTER ICE!

And speaking of MARCH MADNESS, make Third and Long your home for all of the games as we will televise every game with DIRECT TV! And watch out for our great drink specials throughout the tournament, sponsored in part by SAM ADAMS and COORS LIGHT!

NUFF SAID