Friday, October 6, 2006

A TRUE NEW YORK MOMENT.....

Last night was one of those surreal nights that you really can't do justice to by simply describing it with words. It wasn't one singular event that made it a "New York Moment", but a bunch of little things that made you shake your head and mutter to yourself, "Only in New York". Perhaps it was the full moon on display that made the night a weird one. Who knows? All I can say is that from the time my shift started to literally hitting the sack, it was one for the ages.


Highlights include the following:

*You know how I'm always saying that so-and-so was THAT GUY last night? Well this time, this particular individual was being THAT GIRL. I don't know too much about her; she's been in the bar a few times with her friends. Nice enough person, cute face; the one thing about her that makes her stand out is her hair: It's got a weird look to it- kinda like a wig or a bad TINA TURNER cut. Makes you stare at it without realizing that you're doing it.

So this girl comes into the bar with a guy, both dressed in Yankees gear. Obviously just come from the game; faces were freshly tanned and they looked as if they had a few beers already. They took seats at one of the tables and pretty much kept to themselves.... at first. Everyone assumed that they were a couple, that is until the guy begun to openly flirt with any female that moved. She eventually began to chat it up with anyone that would talk to her. At that point it became obvious that they weren't a couple. It turns out they met at the game and came to the bar together afterwards.

The guy eventually disappeared, meanwhile, TINA TURNER was left alone. She had been drinking L.I. Iced Teas and it caught up to her quick. I motioned to the bartenders to cut her off and to monitor her. A group of Met fans were sitting at the bar, eating pizza when she made her way to the group and literally plopped herself in the middle of the group and began helping herself to a slice.
"Yummy".....

"Burp"...

"Think she's had enough?"


At this point, everyone is wondering what her deal was as she was obviously lit like a Christmas tree. She eventually made it to the corner of the bar where a group of guys were hanging out, doing shots. One of the guys bought a round of Jager shots for everyone and I told my bartender to make sure that TINA TURNER didn't get one. But somehow, TINA found a way to get her hands on a shot and did it with everyone else. I rolled my eyes when I saw her suddenly get up and make her way to the bathroom. I knew what was coming next. Sure enough, a few minutes later, I got the word that there was a nice puddle of puke downstairs. Shortly after, she went outside with a guy and when she tried to come back in, I told her that her night at Third and Long was over. She wasn't too happy with that. Shit happens.

*Around the same time, I had a celebrity sighting; this time it was Academy-Award nominee, ED HARRIS, walking up 3rd Avenue at a semi-brisk pace. He pulled his cap down when I mentioned to someone that I recognized him. I think he may have thought I was going to mug him or something. He's a rather short guy, I have to say. Then again, I haven't met too many actors that are tall...

*Then there were the group of patrons from BRITISH AIRWAYS. They were the flight crew and stewardesses. Nice enough group, but can I just say, they definitely did NOT fit the stereotype for what a flight attendant is. This was probably the ugliest group of flight attendants I've ever seen.

*Aside from that, most of the patrons consisted of die hard METS fans, cheering their team on to victory again over the Los Angeles Dodgers. The bar's windows were shaking with the screams and laughter of the fans as their favorite players continued to make timely hits and saves. They were definitely in a festive mood after the game.






The night itself was pretty good although not as crazy as I would had expected for a night of playoff baseball. At the end of the night, I was all set for bed. As a matter of fact, I'd just turned off the lights when I heard this scraping noise outside my window. It sounded like something was scratching on my air conditioner unit.

Now I live on the second floor of a walk up building and there's no fire escape by my window, so what could possibly be scraping at my fire escape? Out of curiosity, I get out of bed and look out the window and I was shocked to see an Asian guy climbing up the wall, hanging off of my window sill and trying to shimmy across towards the balcony next door! I yelled at him to get off of my window and he had the nerve to not want to at first. I was concerned because he was hanging off the THIRD AND LONG sign and my window sill and I feared that his weight would drag him and our sign down, as well as my air conditioner. WTF!

After some stern coaxing by me and his friends, he finally relented and climbed down. Turns out he lived next door and got locked out of his apartment. I told him to run across the street to EXCEL NEWS and ask to borrow their ladder and climb up his fire escape. After about 20 minutes, my idea worked and he was able to finally get into his building. Ol' bastard!

Only in New York...

Now I am really going to try and get some sleep, barring any unwanted guests...



NUFF SAID