The "THAT GUY of the WEEKEND" award: SILENT BOB gets the dubious honor of being "THAT GUY" for his over-the-top behavior during the course of the weekend. Antics ranged from chastising the bartender on Friday for serving a car bomb to a patron who clearly didn't need it- only to drink the same car bomb after the patron left it on the bar; to getting into a heated debate with a Navy officer over his uniform (or lack of a full uniform); to entering Third and Long eight sheets to the wind after the OHIO STATE/MICHIGAN game and proceeding to: a) puking on the stairwell on his way to the bathroom, b)trying to convince me and his lovely wife to do a group hug and french kiss each other and c)somehow getting into a shoving match with an equally drunk MICHIGAN fan and being "asked" to leave by the bar staff (Are you kiddin' me???). Needless to say, our friend was nursing club sodas all day Sunday. Bless his heart.The "YOU HAVE NO FRIGGIN' CLUE" award: To the visiting Chicago Bears fan who felt the need to intercede on behalf of the Navy Guy during the heated debate between Navy Guy and SILENT BOB. The stupid guy thought he was helping to defuse the situation but instead was adding fuel to the fire. Funny thing was, when everything was finally squashed, when asked, Navy Guy said that he didn't even know the guy. Friggin' idiot.
The HUMPTY-DUMPTY award: To NAPOLEON DYNAMITE for the wonderful wipe-out job he did when he came back from the bathroom on Sunday, after many Bud Lights and Gentleman's Drinks. Even funnier was the look on his face as he was being helped up from the floor. Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son....
The METHANE-GAS award: Goes to PITTSBURGH CHRIS, for the constant ass-bombs he kept dropping throughout the afternoon. Perhaps it was due to the infinite number of Jager Bombs he consumed. In any case, the Jager Bombs converted itself to Methane-Bombs from his arse, causing much discomfort for everyone else, both Saturday and Sunday. I hope he checked his Hanes....
The NORM and VERA award: To DIRTY SANCHEZ, for bailing on us on Sunday so that he could go on his "phantom-date" with some babe that no one's ever seen but is always talked about; Kinda reminds me of NORM from Cheers (" Excuse me boys, gotta go meet Vera for a latte and a backshave...").
The ANNIE LEBOWITZ MEMORIAL award: To AFRIKA BAMBATTA, who always feel the need to take needless photos of himself, week after week. The jury has spoken: the subject matter is tired, MR. BAMBATTA. Stop making love to the camera....
COSMO of the DAY award: JON CUSACK for popping in for approximately 9minutes and 36seconds on Sunday before bailing out on the boys to go.... *gasp* on a stroll with a female companion. Read the Man Law guidelines, my friend. Sundays are for FOOTBALL. And when you're done, pass the bylaws to DIRTY SANCHEZ.
There caps off what was indeed an interesting weekend. Don't forget that DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS continues on Tuesday, with $1.00 mugs of BUD/BUD LIGHT all night long. Hope you found this entertaining as I did compiling it with my crack staff.
NUFF SAID
3 comments:
Shouldn't Ben Affleck have been in line for a humanitarian award after saving Silent Bob's life from Iceman (Top Gun reference).....I think these awards are rigged.
Um.... no. Humanitarians don't run back into the bar to finish their drinks. ;)
I see how it is...next time the swandad is being attacked by two highly intoxicated, vertically challenged monkeys, I'll be sure not to step in....some gratitude.
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