1.06.2007

Saturday, January 6, 2007


HOW CAN ONE NIGHT BE SO GOOD AND BAD AT THE SAME TIME?

Friday night the bar experienced a huge rebound as we found ourselves very busy for most of the night. What was even more telling was that the bar was swamped with chicks! Not just chicks, but HOT chicks! I don't know if it was because of the unusually warm temperatures, or the bad case of cabin fever that was going around during the week, but let me say that the masses were out in full force.


The night also gave me an opportunity to test out the new camera phone. Never one for going for the hi-tech gadgets, my phone contract was up for renewal and the company offered me a free phone upgrade so I said "what the hell?". It came in handy as it gave me a chance to snap some candids.

The bar stayed busy pretty much the whole night and it was a great time. A few of the regulars made a pit stop early on, which is always nice. One of them even found herself almost getting into a "tiff" with another female over something trivial, which looking back on it now, was kinda funny. Most impressive, however, were the number of new faces hanging out and having a good time. Like I said before, it was a good night at for the bar. The night for me, however, didn't turn to s*** until after closing hours.

After closing the bar, I go to the apartment to "decompress" before going to sleep. At around 5am, I noticed that the trash needed to go out, so I decided to take it out now and get it out of the way. So I leave the apartment, lock the door (as all good New Yorkers do), take the trash out and come back in. I go to put my key in the door to unlock it and notice that I now only have half a key. The other half is sticking out of the lock of the apartment door and I can't pull it out with my fingers. *crap*!

So I now find myself knocking on the door, trying to wake up my roommate.... no luck. I then go downstairs and begin ringing the buzzer to our apartment. No luck. Now I'm thinking either my roommate is passed out drunk, or not home. WTF! I go to call him and realize that my cellphone is locked in the apartment. So I go back to the bar and began calling him from the bar. I keep getting his voicemail. Now it's about 6am and i'm tired, cranky and getting more pissed by the minute. All I want to do is go to bed.

At about 7am, the sun's up and I'm standing outside the apartment, buzzing the apartment when I see STIFFLER walking up the block. He's going to work and I just roll my eyes. He sees me and I tell him what's going on and he laughs. Great.

I go back to the bar, retrieve a pair of pliers and go back to my apartment. I somehow pull out the other part of the key. Good. Now I can try to get a new key made and get in the apartment. Problem is that there's no locksmith available until 9am. So I sit in the bar and watch some TV, getting more irritable by the minute. At around 8am and numerous calls to my roommate, I decide to go to McDonalds for something to eat while waiting for the hardware store to open. At this point I run into DIRTY SANCHEZ, who was in the middle of running errands. Great. At this rate, i'm liable to run into the whole Brew Crew before 10am.

Hardware store finally opens at 9am and I'm relieved. Now I can get my key made and get into the apartment and go to bed. I present my broken key to the shop guy and he shakes his head. Turns out he can't make a copy from a duplicate key. WTF??? So i'm back to square one. I'm now homeless, helpless, cranky and sleepy. I go back to the bar, make some more phone calls and FINALLY, through divine intervention, I get a break. It turns out HIS BOY ELROY (H.B.E., the former tenant) still had his set of keys. He drops them off for me at around 10:30 and my long, strange odyssey finally ends.

What makes it worse is that we had a record-setting 70 degree day- and I slept through it.

You can't make this stuff up.


NUFF SAID

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Swanfather,

Is "decompress" French for "masturbate"?

Your pal,

Mr. T.

Swa said...

I think they only do that in Yonkers, Not NYC....

Anonymous said...

You were in the shower with the Whipped Silk, weren't you?

B to the...

Swa said...

I don't know anyone named "Whipped Silk"....