Friday, February 23, 2007

ON THE PROWL WITH HORNY GOATWEED


Last night was one for the ages as our Third and Long's wannabe-Casanova, HORNY GOATWEED, put on a show that would have made even the most jaded individual scratch his head in amazement. Even as I type this, I'm not quite sure as to what went down. It was bizarre to say the least and rivals anything that MADAME X would have pulled off in her heyday.

It all began when I arrived for the evening shift. There were a few people sitting in the bar, chilling out amongst themselves. Situated at the bar was MR. LOW-KEY, reading his paper as usual, and HORNY GOATWEED, well being HORNY GOATWEED. Sitting in between the two was a young blonde chick, who was deeply engrossed in conversation..... with HORNY GOATWEED. I found myself somewhat amused by this, but I didn't take it too seriously; usually when MR. GOATWEED starts talking to a woman, the interaction is brief because they are usually running away from him within minutes.

However, in this instance, the young lady seemed to be into the conversation and the man himself. What gives? What's going on there? So I went on about my business, while at the same time, eyeing up the situation from afar. The interaction between the two went on for what seemed to be hours. The longer it went, the more curious I became as to what was going on between the two. Things got even more interesting when a third person came into the bar and sat with them. He was about her age and I couldn't tell if it was a boyfriend, a friend, etc. It was weird.

At one point, I happened to be outside when the young lady came outside to make a phone call. Not sure if she realized how loud she was talking, but she was definitely shouting into the phone. The conversation was cryptic, involving some kind of meet-up to pick up "one bag" of something or another. Hmmmm.....

Next thing you know, all three of them got up and left together. I asked HORNY GOATWEED what the deal was, and he gave me that "look". You know the one- the one you make when bad decisions are made. So I didn't think anything of it, until I turned around and saw the three of them enter into the apartment building across the street. "WTF???" Now the whole bar is wondering what the hell was up.

About a half hour later, they emerge from the building and come back into the bar. GOATWEED was looking flushed and of course, he's zoned into the chick (who was wearing an entirely different outfit at this point). He had his usual devilish smile on his face and of course, I'm in total disbelief. Surely what I think may have happened, didn't happen.... did it? It was totally weird. They hung out for about another hour, then the group left the bar and went off into the darkness to god-knows-where. About an hour later, the group re-emerge from the darkness, this time with yet another woman in tow. They walked by the bar and continued up the block- where to? Who knows? The whole damn thing was bizarre.

Simply bizarre.

Speaking of bizarre, the BRITNEY mess just gets worse and worse.








(pic source-x17online.com)

It seems that our favorite perky pop-tart had another melt down, this time, outside K-FED's house. Apparently she went to talk to him and he refused to speak to her. So she flipped out on him and the paparazzi. Where does it all end? Someone PLEASE help her! I think someone put it best: "I haven't been this turned on since I last saw THX 1138" (is that wrong or what?) Catch the full story HERE

That's it for now. I'm still traumatized by the whole GOATWEED affair. Gotta go.



nuff said