Tuesday, March 6, 2007

LAUNDRY DAY-THE NECESSARY EVIL

Yesterday was laundry day for yours truly, a ritual that is a weekly pain in the ass for me, and a source of amusement for everyone else. The ritual goes a little like this:


A) I pack my laundry cart (or should I say "Old Lady Cart") with my laundry (sorted out by colors, of course) and the necessary cleaning supplies, reading materials and a fist full of quarters.

B) I then navigate the old lady cart down a flight of stairs and out of the building before making the two block trek to the laundromat on East 33rd Street. Along the way I encounter a bevy of stares and smirks from the neighborhood merchants as they somehow find a large black guy pushing an old lady cart as amusing. I don't get it.

C) I arrive at the laundromat and immediately begin jockeying for position for the prime spots within the laundromat. Over the course of the past few years, I've found that certain machines work better than others. So I try to stick to those same machines if possible. There's been times where I've had to do the staredown to ensure that I get my machines (you do what you gotta do).

D) Once I've secured the machines, the ritual of unloading the cart into the machine, fishing for quarters and doling out the detergent takes place. Here is where the laughs begin. Usually something bizarre happens at this point. One time I dropped a handful of quarters and ripped a hole in my pants when I bent over to pick them up. Another time I somehow used too much detergent and caused a mini-flood of bubbles to pour out of the machine. I was almost banned from the laundromat for that offense. Not to say that something happens everytime I get to this point, but more often than not if something bizarre is going to happen, then it's usually at this point.

E) After getting the laundry safely in the wash, the waiting game begins. At this point, I find myself either reading the paper or any leftover magazines, or I amuse myself by people-watching. From the hot chicks that chose to do their laundry in between model shoots, to the staff of Mexicans who are doing the laundry that the locals are too busy to do themselves, it's always interesting to observe. Or sometimes you happen to see one of your friends and use that time to catch up on things, which makes the time go by. On the other hand, there's those awkward moments where you'll happen to run into someone that you just don't feel like talking to, whether it is a drunken patron from the night before or that "Chatty Cathy" who likes to drone on and on about nothing. At that point I go into camouflage mode and don the sunglasses, plug in the IPOD and pull a "MR. LOW-KEY" and bury my face into a newspaper or magazine and pretend that I don't see that person. Not the easiest thing to do in an open area like a laundromat.

*speaking of the laundry staff- after watching them in action over the course of the past year or so, I don't know why people even bother dropping off their laundry in the first place. These guys have a field day with your unmentionables. There's been many times where I'll see them joking with each other over your laundry- whether it be wearing someone's thong on their heads or playing slingshot with a bra, or totally ignoring your request to use your detergent or fabric softener. It's kinda scary. I guess that's my motivation to do my own laundry.

F) After putting my wet laundry into the dryers, I make a beeline to the local coffee shop for my fix of caffeine. I have it down to a science where I run out, get my coffee, stroll back just in time to take the clothes out of the dryer, do the mundane task of folding (and can someone please enlighten me on the best way to fold fitted sheets? It drives me nuts), and get the laundry back to the apartment just in time for the coffee to "kick in".

All told, the whole ritual takes me about an hour and a half and for less than ten bucks (for three loads of laundry). Totally worth the snickers from the peanut gallery for peace of mind, I guess.

Oh and by the way, in case you've had your head under a rock the past few days, the MEGA MILLIONS JACKPOT IS NOW....... 355 M-I-L-L-I-O-N DOLLARS! Drawing is tonight, so if you haven't gotten your ticket yet, you better do so. All it takes is a dollar and a dream, right? Just remember us "little people" if you are lucky enough to hit it big! What would you do if you were lucky enough to be the big winner? I could think of quite a few things I'd do, but I'd be here writing all day.


nuff said