Monday, April 16, 2007

WEEKEND HAPPENINGS (or SWANFATHER BUELLER'S DAY OFF)

This past weekend was an interesting one in that it was one of those rare instances where yours truly actually left the borough of Manhattan for some recreation.

Armed with four tickets to the NY METS/WASHINGTON NATIONALS game at Shea Stadium, I ended up taking NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, MR. CHIPS and SHAFT with me for what was sure to be an afternoon of fun and hijinks.

The boys met me at the bar at around 11:30am and we (well they) had a few pre-game cocktails while I attended to a budding tv cable issue (more on that later). After getting the cable situation rectified, we met our car service driver outside and made our way to Shea.


Now the weather called for a mixed bag of good and bad, so I dressed warmly, just in case. As it turned out, as soon as we arrived at Shea, the sun broke out and it turned out to be a gorgeous afternoon.

Now when we arrived at the stadium, there was a lot of hustling and bustling going on as the merry Met fans were excited for the game; I, on the other hand, was simply happy just getting to our seats. I have little patience for long lines or crowds, so the sooner we got in and settled, the better off I would be.

As we made our way to our seats, we decided to stop by the refreshment stand to pick up a few items. One of the first things that blew me away was the prices. $7.25 for a can of beer! $4.50 for a bottle of soda! Are you kidding me?? And people thought our prices were high. Hmmmph!

While we were at the food stand, I noticed this sign and found it to be rather funny.

We finally get to our seats and they turned out to be pretty good seats; about ten rows off from the field, behind 3rd base, in the sun. What more could you ask for?

A bright, sunny day....

NAPOLEON and I, taking in the scenery...


Met favorite DAVID WRIGHT, conversing with the 3rd base ump..



Long story short, we had a great afternoon of eating...


drinking...

and cavorting, everyone sitting around us seemed to like us (what's not to like?); And even though the Amazin's ended up losing, it was still a great time.

RANDOM SIGHTINGS

While at the game, this guy came down with his buddy and sat in front of us. Immediately I found myself noticing his outfit. Now while I am not one to talk about what people wear (okay, maybe I do), I couldn't help but to ask out loud, "What was this guy thinking?"

Wearing a tight-fitted tee shirt thingy like this would be like me wearing a speedo at Jones Beach. Some things you just don't do, homey. WTF?

As we were leaving, we decided to make a pit-stop at the Men's Room. I go to the next available stall and go to do my business and looked up, only to see this advert hanging over the urinal:

Can we get any more phallic than that? Hello!

We decide to take car service back to Manhattan (because we're big willies). NAPOLEON DYNAMITE volunteers to call his regular guy. A 400-lb Jamaican guy named WES. I shit you not. Getting a hold of this guy was easy enough- communicating with him and trying to coordinate with him for a pick up was another adventure entirely. This guy speaks such fluent Jamaican that you literally cannot understand a single word he says. So to see him and a drunken NAPOLEON trying to coordinate over a cell phone was classic comedy at its best.

A tipsy NAPOLEON trying to coordinate a ride with his driver...

MR. CHIPS and SHAFT looking bewildered

Some random lady sitting on a bus right in front of me. I think I scared her.

Finally, JAMAICAN WES shows up and we pile into the car. As we're driving back into Manhattan, I couldn't help but to be amused by the conversation taking place between JAMAICAN WES and DRUNKEN NAPOLEON. None of us in the back seat could decipher what the driver was saying, however, somehow, DRUNKEN NAPOLEON held a full conversation like it was you and I. Stunning.

We finally get back to Manhattan and it turns out that the boys had a "business appointment" at a restaurant in Midtown that caters specifically to "businessmen". I had to excuse myself from the "meeting" as I had to rush back to the bar to tend to the same cable/satellite issue that plagued us earlier in the day. Of course the timing sucked as the NY Rangers were in the middle of their playoff game and there were a few diehard fans waiting to catch their Blueshirts in action.

All told, a pretty fun afternoon.

SUNDAY on the other hand, sucked balls. NYC got hit with a good old fashioned Nor'easter, filling the whole day with torrential rains and strong, gusty winds. I spend the majority of the day alone, kept company by a couple of diehards who weren't afraid of dealing with the rains (thanks MR. LOW-KEY, HORNY GOATWEED, BABY GIRL, T-BILL and JOHN CUSACK). I especially want to thank MR. LOW-KEY for the awesome spread he whipped up. As SILENT BOB always says, "Tits!"

UPCOMING EVENTS:

Hockey playoffs continue this week with all three of the locals (RANGERS, ISLANDERS and DEVILS)playing; YANKEES will be hosting "AMERICA'S TEAM- THE CLEVELAND INDIANS during the week before heading up to Beantown for their first series vs the BOSTON RED SOX. METS are on the road this week before coming home to host ATLANTA this weekend. BOSTON MARATHON on Monday. BUDWEISER "Home Run Derby" Promo on Thursday.

And don't forget about DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS, today and tomorrow ($1.00 BUD/BUD LIGHT mugs, all night long!)


nuff said