8.30.2007

Thursday, August 30, 2007

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS FROM A WEDNESDAY NIGHT.... (Somewhat long post)

Yesterday was one of those days where you couldn't help but to say to yourself, "Hmmmm..... That's interesting...". Not sure if it was due to the after-effects of the recent lunar eclipse we had, or what; All I know is that NYC is never lacking in the presentation of interesting situations. For example:

*I met this young lady from Russia on Tuesday night. She was introduced to me by a kindly gentleman from one of those Russian Republic countries, who was in town for the U.S. Open. He was a tennis coach who proudly showed off to me his portfolio of letters and certificates and autographs from various players he'd work with over the years.

In any case, during the height of Dollar Draft Madness when the bar was three-deep with thirsty revelers, he brings over this tall, leggy brunette. At first I thought she was Asian, as her facial features suggested that she could have been; However, after hearing her speak, it was obvious that she was Russian. He asked me to speak to her because she had a problem that she needed help with. From what I could make of her broken English, it seemed that she came to the U.S. to be a model but got hooked up with a shady model agency. I wasn't sure what she wanted me to do, so I asked for the name of the agency and I would look into finding information about it. Apparently I told her to come back on Wednesday so that we could better talk without all of the chaos of Dollar Draft Madness.

So the young lady came back to see me; however, i'd totally forgotten that I'd spoken to her about the matter so when I got the call from ARRON (the new day bartender) that she was here, I told him to stall her a bit while I did some quick investigative work with the help of Google. Sure enough, my instincts were correct as the agency she was with had a slew of bad reviews on it. So I printed out the information and brought it to her, explaining what I'd found. I couldn't help but to feel bad for her as she explained how she answered an ad on the internet for models and she came all the way over to NYC to follow a dream; Instead, she'd gotten nothing but disappointment (and a loss of funds due to "fees" that she paid upfront for poorly shot photographs and such). I suggested to her that she look into some of the more reputable agencies and try her luck there. She thanked me with tears in her eyes and left the bar. Damn shame. She was tall, leggy and cute, but I'm not sure if she has what it takes to make it in the cut-throat world of modeling. I wish her the best though.

*In the meantime, SCHNIEDER, (better known as FIREMARSHALL ED), was in the basement, busying himself with various small repair projects around the bar. He reminds me of Schneider of "One Day at a Time", a popular sitcom back in the '70's, strutting around the bar with his tools.

I have to commend the guy as he normally does a pretty good job at keeping the bar up to snuff with his handiwork and tools. However, I can't help but to get a chuckle at times when he gets into TOOL-TIME mode. Nevertheless, I have to give the man props- he gets the shit done.


As the bar drifted into "Happy Hour" mode, small groups of people began trickling in for "Girls Night Out". The Wednesday night specials ($3.00 Mixed Well Drinks for ladies, $2.50 PBR Cans/5/$10.00 for everyone) seems to be a hit as we getting more and more new faces with each passing week. What's also interesting is the fact that I'm noticing more and more females ordering PBR cans as opposed to going straight for the Mixed Well Drink special.

Speaking of which, I met a pretty nice group of teachers, in town from Long Island to attend a three-day conference in Manhattan. I guess today was the last day of the conference because these ladies strolled into the bar and plopped down on a few stools at the end of the bar. They immediately blew off the mixed well drinks and went straight to the PBR cans. They ended up staying almost five hours. A lively bunch indeed.

While this was going on, there was this pretty hot brunette who happened to be hanging out at the back of the bar with a group of friends. She went to the ladies room, at which point I went to the front door to check on some ID questions. A few minutes later, the same young lady was walking towards me after saying goodbye to her friends. As she got closer, one of her friends yelled out her name. She turned around and started walking back towards the group when I noticed that something wasn't right about her.

As it turns out, she'd accidentally tucked part of her dress into her underwear so that as she was walking away from me, I saw nothing but black grandma panties and milky-white legs. By the time she made it back to her group, she'd realized what happened- and unfortunately, so did most of the bar. But to her credit, she played it off smoothly, simply untucking the dress from her underwear and casually walked out the door, as if nothing ever happened. I give her a "10" for coolness factor.

Just when you thought you'd seen it all, this funny incident took place. I was standing at the end of the bar, speaking with one of the bartenders when this old Caucasian man walked into the bar with a older-looking, ahem, female. They were hand in hand and after leading her to a seat in the back lounge area, he came over to the bar and ordered drinks for the both of them. While the bartender prepared the drinks, I took a slight peek at the "female". It took me about 30 seconds to figure out that this "female" was really in fact, a transvestite.

So we sat there amused, watching things unfold between the unlikely pair. They sat together and "canoodled" for about fifteen minutes when next thing you know, the old guy got up abruptly and stormed out of the bar. I guess he finally figured out what he was dealing with. You can't make this stuff up. To her credit, Miss Thang stayed long enough to finish both drinks before leaving. I thought she was going to give us a "two-snaps up and a whirl"....Funny stuff.

And while all of this was going on, a group of local frat guys held their fantasy football draft at the bar, oblivious to everything that was happening around them.

An interesting night indeed.

DON'T FORGET: YANKEES/RED SOX and METS/PHILLIES are both day games (1pm)! Stop by and catch the action!


LITE NITE THURSDAYS are back! All LIGHT beers (bottles/drafts) are only $4.00 (4pm-10pm); Catch LSU vs MISSISSIPPI STATE and RUTGERS vs BUFFALO in the opening of the College Football season!



That's it for now; I'm feel myself getting sick so I'm hitting the sack. Drop back in tomorrow.


NUFF said

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Swanfather,

It's worth noting that the real Schneider (one Pat Harrington Jr.) used to live around the corner from the bar.

Your pal,

Mr. T.