Friday, December 14, 2007

HOLIDAY PARTY NO-NOS

Last night I was quickly reminded that it is "holiday office party season". The bar starts out slower than usual, then towards the latter part of the night, we'll all of a sudden get a hit of happy patrons toting gift bags and such. Having encountered more than my fair share of post-holiday party patrons and watching the peculiar behavior of these drunken idiots over the years, I can't help but to notice certain things. For example:

1) What is it about holiday parties that make guys in suit and ties want to wrestle each other?

2) What is it about holiday parties that makes a person think that it's okay to make out with the V.P. of Finance in front of everyone?

3) What is it about holiday parties that encourages everyone's "Guitar Idol" side to come out?

4) What is it about holiday parties that make people think that they can drink and drink and drink and drink and not get drunk?

5) What is it about holiday parties that encourages drunk-dialing before midnight?

6) What is it about holiday parties that cause people to yell out their sentences? I mean EVERY SINGLE WORD???

7) What is it about holiday parties that encourages dumb decisions, like asking the boss for a raise while hammered or getting so drunk that your boss has to hail a cab for you?

8) What is it about holiday parties that causes a person to think that they can pick up and have sex with a co-worker practically anywhere they damn well please and not think that anyone would notice?

Can someone please explain it to me, because I'm at a loss....


FUNNY MOMENT OF THE NIGHT

Ever hear of the term "What goes around, comes around"? Well, that term came into play last night for one of our employees. A few weeks back (during our MARATHON PARTY), BLONDE CHATTERBOX was in attendance and had a few too many drinks in her (yes, shocking). At one point during the evening, she walked up to a couple who had just sat down to eat some pizza. Without saying a word to anyone, she casually grabbed a slice of pizza and began eating it, much to the shock and dismay of the couple and everyone else sitting around them. Bizarre, yet funny.

Well, tonight the tables were turned when BLONDE CHATTERBOX and THE DENTIST were sitting down to some pizza when a drunken post-holiday party reveler walked up to them. Staring at the pizza, she asked if she could have a slice. BLONDE CHATTERBOX, without blinking an eye, yelled out "Certainly NOT!!!" and turned away to eat her pizza. The drunk chick stood there dumbfounded and said "You're kidding, right?" Then she made a comment about BLONDE CHATTERBOX being skinny and then staggered out into the night. Priceless.

Immediately after that both THE DENTIST and I reminded BLONDE CHATTERBOX that she basically did the exact same thing at the party and of course, BLONDE CHATTERBOX denies doing such thing. Whatever. It was a classic moment nevertheless.

By the way, that winter storm sure hit NYC hard. I think I need to put a phone call in to the weather bureau and tell them to get their facts straight.


Gotta bolt. More updates later.



NuFF said