Monday, December 3, 2007

SECURITY.... UM, SECURITY.....

Yesterday went down as one of those "WTF" kind of days. It all started innocently enough (as always) with the bar being quieter than normal for the early games. There were some good matchups on tap, but with the unexpected snowfall we experienced, I figured that was the deterrent that kept the regulars away on this particular afternoon.

It was just as well as I was tackling a developing cold and wouldn't have minded if the bar wasn't busy as usual.

One by one, the usual suspects began to trickle in: AFRIKA BAMBATTA arrived first (as usual), followed by T-BILL, MR. LOW-KEY and then TURBO (who, by the way, just realized that the blog existed. Bless his heart). While I continued to set up shop, we began talking about various topics, of which the peanut gallery had no problems chiming in with their views. I have to say, to listen to my man TURBO share his points of view on life is a joy to behold. He has his moments (as does the rest of the BREW CREW), but I can say one thing for sure- the man is entertaining.

As the afternoon went on, more people began showing up: NAPOLEON made an appearance, as well as SILENT BOB, ANGEL, REDSKINS GIRL, BABY GIRL, NORBIT, STIFFLER, AMERICAN PSYCHO, JOHN CUSACK and MR. CHIPS (after a brief hiatus). The jokes and pranks went on all afternoon and "the Gentlemen's" did flow freely.

Late in the afternoon, we began receiving new patrons: specifically chicks (which I always enjoy). A group of females from Texas rolled into the bar to celebrate the birthday of one of the members. They were a lively bunch and were pretty cool too. They were followed by a couple of guys who were meeting them for drinks. The group pretty much kept to themselves in the back of the bar and the BREW CREW stayed up near the front, doing their thing.

Not long after that, another group of guys came in, all wearing hats or caps; They piled out of a stretch limo and apparently were cruising around the city, hitting watering holes along the way. They were a pretty loud and lively bunch and immediately made their way to the back of the bar and hung out with the girls and the jukebox. There was a lot of harmless flirting and dancing going on and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Then things took a turn to the sublime as a fight somehow broke out between a member of the "Hat Crew" and a member of the birthday party contingent. As the two guys wrestled each other to the floor, it became apparent that this was no fun play, but a real fight. So I began shouting at them from behind the bar to stop. This of course, did nothing as the fight quickly escalated into a full-fledged free-for-all when the two combatants and their friends spilled into the BREW CREW and a bona-fide pier-six battle royal took place. You can't make this shit up.

Chaos and confusion ensued for what seemed like forever, until everyone was finally able to separate from each other and cooler heads prevailed. Simply bizarre. My description doesn't do it justice. Let's just say that this altercation was the first real donnybrook we've had in (literally) years. Luckily, while a few of the guys suffered some bumps and bruises (both physically and maybe... to the ego), no one was seriously hurt. As luck would have it, however, during the skirmish, I ripped open a gash on my leg that had just healed. Crap.


The bar, on the other hand, looked like a hurricane had swept through it. Broken glass, spilled drinks, etc. all over the place. (By the way, I want to thank everyone who helped me to get the bar back in shape after the melee). I want to stress that this kind of stuff practically NEVER happens at Third and Long, which was the reason why I was initially stunned when it did.

So much for a mellow afternoon, huh? Note to self: Hire security.

After the chaos that took place and after the bar cleared out, the rest of the night turned out to be pretty mellow, with small groups and couples providing most of the entertainment. By the time the night ended, I found myself totally drained. WTF.....

All told, even with the fireworks of the afternoon, it was a pretty good day overall. Oh, and the Jets won.


DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS TONIGHT ($1.00 Bud/Coors Light/Bud Light mugs ALL NIGHT LONG)!

Speaking of DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS, here's a news bulletin that came over the AP wires over the weekend....

Rob (HIS BOY ELROY) and Dan (P-DIDDY)

On this Tuesday, December 4th, come help Rob and Dan reach their goal to 1 million $1 mugs served. It will also be their last Tuesday night bartending together at Third and Long.

After over 7 years of bartending together for Tuesday Night $1 Mug Madness, Rob and Dan will be retiring from the mug pouring business forever.

"Our forearms have grown freakishly large throughout the years, and our doctors advised an early retirement due to carpal tunnel syndrome from many years of holding absurdly large quantities of 8oz mugs", Rob says. Dan added in, "yeah, and don't forget to mention the damage to the cuticles from the acidity in the jagerbombs & O'Rudy's poured throughout the years. Our nail beds just couldn't take it anymore."

A count of the combined mugs served by Rob & Dan over the course of their bartending careers has been audited by a team from Ernst & Young and their findings have determined that they should surpass 1 MILLION MUGS SERVED sometime during their December 4th shift.

Come help them reach this milestone and send these guys into retirement in style. Did I mention "THE BIG SHOW" . Please ask LeeAnn & Sarah for further details.

See you Tuesday,

Rob & Dan