FIVE QUESTIONS......

It's Wednesday night and we find ourselves in the middle of the "post-holiday funk" that I always talk about; The "Post-Holiday Funk" (for those of you out of the loop), is the week that follows a long holiday weekend; Most of the bars/restaurants experience a "dip" in business, mainly because everyone is exhausted and more importantly, b-r-o-k-e from partying hard in the Hamptons, Jersey Shore, or (fill in the blank).

Since we had some "downtime", I figured it was as good a time as any to have the blog folks get to know some of our newer employees. So I decided to interview SCUBA STEVE and AMY SMART.

SCUBA STEVE, originally from Rockaway Beach, NY has been with THIRD and LONG for almost a year now, while AMY SMART (see the resemblance) is from Dayton, OH and just joined our staff last week. Armed with five fascinating questions from yours truly, here's the mini-interview:

Q: How long have you been bartending?
SS: Eight years.
AS: Two years.

Q: What's your most memorable "pick-up" line?
SS: "Do you like chicken? Grab a wing!"
AS: A yes/no checkbox on a bar napkin asking if I'd go for dinner- with a rough draft poorly crossed out at the top!

Q: What tourists are the best/worst tippers?
AS: Best: Irish.(strike that- this was written before she got a ONE CENT tip from a couple of girls from Ireland). Worst: French (unless you count the two guys who just left me fifty cents on a $14.00 tab!).
SS: Best: Asians ("They can't see their money when they're drunk"). Worst: People who say "Keep the change", because usually it's just that: Change.

Q: What is your best/worst bartending experience?
SS: Working with AMY SMART (worst)
AS: Working with SCUBA STEVE (best)

Q: Interesting. Here's the curveball question for you. If you had to either:

a) Slide down a rusty razorblade into a vat of rubbing alcohol

b) Roll/crall through a maze of horse poo blindfolded

c) Have hot-funky-sweaty-mofongo sex with OPRAH WINFREY or MICHAEL MOORE

And the life of your significant other hung in the balance, which would you do?

SS: C, MICHAEL MOORE- he looks like Peter from Family Guy and Peter looks cuddly .
AS: B, who knows? maybe it's good for your skin!

And there you have it. I hope you got some insight into the minds of my staff. Lord help us!







*PROPOSALS THROWN BABY GIRL'S WAY ON A TYPICAL DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS NIGHT AND OVERHEARD BY YOURS TRULY:

"Can I lean over the bar RIGHT NOW and kiss you ON THE LIPS???"

"So, if my friend Joe (points to the guy next to him) and I were to ask you to come home with us tonight, which one would you pick??? And then what time can I pick you up?"

He: "I think you're cute."
She: "Wow, thanks!"
He: "I want to take you to dinner."
She: "Um.... uh-huh...."
He: "I swear! I'm not drunk at all!"
silence
He: "Gimmie your number, dammit!"
She: "Um... gotta go wash glasses!"


You can't make this stuff up.


Nuff Said