Sunday, May 10, 2009

MURRAY HILL FASHION OBSERVATIONS

As I relax on a Sunday evening with the Amazing Race finale playing on the background, I figured now would be a good time to post my recent observations of the fashion trends of Murray Hill.

If you know me by now, you know that I appreciate good fashion based on individuality and style. If you are a person that has a good fashion sense about you and can act independent in your choice of style, you get a thumbs up in my book. However, if you are someone that doesn't know what works for you and/or is a "follower" when it comes to your own sense of style, then you get the Big Swan's thumbs down. Now this rule only applies to fashion if you are out and about, trying to impress. I don't go crazy on casual fashion because, let's be honest, I can't cast stones on anyone when it comes to being casual. With that being said, here are the latest fashion likes and dislikes for yours truly.

SWANDAD LIKEY: The Black Spring Dress. If you live in Murray Hill or have ever made your way around the neighborhood, you know how much the women here like to copy off of one another. They see something on TV or in a celebrity tabloid and next thing you know, they're wearing it on 3rd Avenue the next day. More often than not, the outfits they see on a celebrity doesn't translate well to the local Murray Hill girl as they aren't really the model types, if you know what I mean. However, certain outfits usually work in their favor and the Black Spring Dress is one of them. A nice black spring dress will make a muppet look sexy. Even one from Murray Hill.


SWANDAD NO LIKEY: Skinny Jeans. This item is my current pet peeve of the moment. It reminds me a lot of the stretch pants that the ladies were wearing over the last couple of years. It reminds me of a wannabe rock groupie. I'm not quite sure where the sexy factor comes in for it but I just don't get it. First of all, very few people get it right. Even less have the body for it, especially the lovely little runts that live in this neighborhood.

Secondly, I think the look screams out "white trash", which is a turnoff for me. Maybe I'm not supposed to "get it", being a guy and all, but if you want to attract my eye, I would think you want to wear something that will catch my eye and not repel it. And for many of the Murray Hill ladies, let's keep it real: Most of you are simply not quite built for the skinny jeans. No disrespect intended....

And if I ever see another guy wearing skinny jeans, I promise.....

I will punch him in the nose.



SWANDAD LIKEY: The Pork-Pie Hat. The hat has made a bit of a comeback recently (well, maybe not so recently), and to me, it has always had a cool factor to it. If I could pull off wearing a hat, I'd own one myself. But with the way my head is shaped, I'd only be insulting the hat and look like an idiot in the process. Too bad.



SWANDAD LIKEY: Denim Shorts. Here's another item that seems to be making a comeback of sorts. Just this weekend alone I saw countless number of ladies rocking the denim shorts. More often than not, these were the "updated" version of the "Daisy Dukes" from back in the day, but not bad nevertheless. Again, for you Murray Hill Stepford Wives out there- DO NOT attempt this look if you're not built for them. It will only result in a disaster for all involved: for the person wearing them and the people who have to see you in them.

That's just a few of the observations that I've made over the past few days. As the Spring season evolves into Summer, I'm sure there will be more things that will catch my eye and no doubt, make me wince. Until then, keep reading!



Nuff Said