Friday, July 10, 2009

WHOA. MUST BE A FULL MOON.

The hi-jinks this time around began pretty early in the evening, just as I was coming on board for the evening. When I walked behind the bar, there was this unusual-looking brunette, sitting alone with a glass of wine and an "US Magazine" sitting in front of her. Within seconds she addressed me and began chatting me up. While it isn't unusual for anyone to start a conversation with me (I'm charming like that I guess), it became readily apparent within minutes that this young lady was, let's just say.... different.

For starters, she had something "different" going on with her face. I didn't look at her directly at first, as I was concentrating on setting up for the shift change. However, out of the corner of my eye I saw what I thought was a scar around her left eye area. When I finally looked at her directly, I got what I thought was a "loopy vibe" from her. She began babbling about god-knows-what and immediately I knew she was hammered... though I wasn't sure if alcohol was the culprit.

Doll Baby then disappears to the bathroom and while she was there, I asked the day bartender what her scoop was and he said that he didn't know. She came in alone and looked as if she was on the verge of tears, only to come up from the bathroom feeling "happy". I guess we can probably figure out what she was doing.

In any case, after a few minutes of babble and her knocking drinks over every few minutes, I finally decided that enough was enough and instructed the bartenders to cut her off. Apparently at one point she walked up to a guy and told him that she was a dominatrix. When he asked her what that was (I'm assuming out of sarcasm), she hauled off and slapped him in the face. Oy! Eventually we got her to go outside, where I then instructed our door guy to keep her out. I thought we were out of the woods with the nut-job, so I ran across the street to the deli to get some coffees for me and the door man. On my way back I find myself at the corner, waiting for the light to change and I notice that there's a bit of a commotion in the doorway of the bar. Sure enough, it's the crazy chick, trying to get back into the bar. I see the door man blocking the entrance and next thing you know:

"WHAP!"

Doll Baby hauled off and slapped our door man in the face! Apparently she got pissed off because he wouldn't let her back in and she took out on him. I was impressed by the fact that even with all of that, he kept his composure and eventually she stormed off into the after-work crowd on 3rd Avenue.

Jeez! What a way to start the night.


TONIGHT: "After-Work Happy Hour" (5-9pm), featuring $4.00 Mixed Well Drinks and all draft beers (except Guinness/Delirium Tremens)!

AND FINALLY: It figures that as soon as I make a declaration to get on a healthy kick, God would torture me by bringing in the one thing I've been craving for years: TIM HORTON'S. Yes, the mega-Canadian donut/coffee chain is finally making its way to New York City next week as the Riese Restaurant organization is dropping Dunkin' Donuts to make room for the new brand. All I can say is "WOO-HOO!!!" If I am going to die, let it be with a Tim Horton's Iced Cap in my hand.



Nuff Said