Friday, October 9, 2009

"HEY, YOU'RE NOT VINNY CHASE!"

Last night I went out to dinner with ENERGIZER BUNNY to catch up on life-related stuff. It's been awhile since we've hung out; I've been busy on my end, while she's been prepping for her upcoming nuptials. It was good to get away from the neighborhood for a bit and to just chill out and chew the proverbial fat.

After dinner, I went back to the bar and came upon a large contingent of nattily dressed folks and I realized pretty quickly that they were part of a wedding party. Not quite sure where from but you definitely got the hint that they were from out of town. They were a pretty fun group and rightfully so, since one of their own was getting married on Friday.

While the wedding party was hanging out and having their fun, there were various smaller groups sprinkled about the bar, watching the Boston/Anaheim playoff game or one of the many hockey games on tap.

At one point during the evening, these two girls came to the bar and took their seats near the back of the bar. It was fairly obvious that they were in the service industry; my guess? waitresses or maybe bartenders (turned out they were indeed waitresses). Within a few minutes it became clear that they knew the barback as they kept chatting him up every few minutes. No big deal. As the evening went on, however, one of the waitresses became a bit annoying; first she had a complaint about everything: the songs on the jukebox to the way the male bartenders were dressed, to the look that FRENCHY was giving them, to what the wedding party was doing, to the two idiots who were trying to pick them up (more on them later). It was "wah, wah, wah" all night long. Oy vey.

So as she was going on and on about everything she didn't like, I'm looking at her and before my eyes glazed over from the nonsensical talk, I noticed that this chick had earrings that looked like blackheads protruding from her face. Then she goes on to tell tales about her job as a waitress... AT FUCKING OLIVE GARDEN! So the irony in all of this? A waitress from OLIVE GARDEN is sitting around and critiquing everything that's going on in our bar! WTF? Like I said, very annoying.

Back to the idiots. These two twits come into the bar and immediately drew stares. Why? One of the idiots walks into the bar, wearing sunglasses! It's after friggin' midnight and he's wearing sunglasses! They walk up to these two chicks and began a dialogue with them. First they tried talking them up; then they tried to get the girls to buy them drinks. That went over like a fart in church. Then one of the dolts gives the girls his buddy's card:


While the guy is handing this card to the girls, the buddy in question is sitting there, sunglasses and all, brooding and trying to look like Vincent Chase from Entourage. What a fucking idiot! He's lucky he wasn't wearing skinny jeans or else I would have punched him in the face. Of course, the ladies didn't bite on this and the guys left soon after. It took all of my strength not to laugh in these idiots' faces. You can't make this stuff up.

About 20 minutes later, I see the same two guys outside, walking from another bar. The guy in the sunglasses is walking with his hands jammed in his pockets, looking frustrated; his buddy/manager is talking and I could have sworn I overheard him say something like: "Dude, I can't believe those chicks were married!". WTF?

Yet another example of "You Can't Make This Stuff Up"....

WEEKEND HAPPENINGS:

TONIGHT: "Weekend Kick-Off" featuring $4 Mixed Well Drinks/Domestic Drafts (5-9pm)! NY Yankees vs Minnesota Twins (6:07pm), followed by Boston vs Anaheim (9:37pm).

SATURDAY: "Kick the Keg Saturdays" featuring $2 mugs, ALL BEERS ON TAP* (12-8pm)! ESPN Game Plan/Big Ten Network games all day long! NHL Center Ice/Hockey Night In Canada (7pm-1am)! Great drink specials all night long!

SUNDAY: "Brew Crew Sundays" featuring the NFL Sunday Ticket and $4 Bud/Bud Light pints during ALL NFL GAMES! Join the Sunday Brew Crew as we celebrate BABY GIRL's birthday (6pm). You know how decadent her soirees can get so bring your popcorn! It's Columbus Day Weekend so most of you have Monday off and you know what that means: GO LONG.... OR GO HOME!

That's it. That's all I got. (My new catch phrase).