PLAYING GUARDIAN ANGEL...

The past few weeks I've found myself playing "guardian angel" to one of our local "celebrities", the one and only PROFESSOR IRWIN COREY. He's a famous comedian who was really big back in the 60's and 70's and continues to perform on stage and screen today, at the ripe young age of 96.

The "Professor" (as we like to call him) keeps himself busy by going around the neighborhood and selling newspapers. Yes, selling newspapers at his age. I used to think that he was doing it to supplement his income; You know, a man down on his luck. Then I found out that he lived on Sniffen Court, a famous gated community in the neighborhood, where carriage houses sell for over a million dollars, easy. I eventually found out that he sells the papers to raise money for poor folks in Cuba (his political views are another story for another day).

I bring up the guardian angel thing because, each morning he stops by the bar and sells us his papers. We buy them and he'll tell us a joke or two and be on his merry way. We're located on a corner of a busy intersection and I don't know if it's because of his age or what but he tends to walk out onto the street with his walker filled with newspapers, regardless of what color the stop light is. And I find myself running out onto the street to stop traffic so that he doesn't get hit. And each time he smiles at me, tells me a joke and walks away, oblivious to what nearly happened to him.

Today, while waiting for the cable guy to show up, there was the Professor again, hawking his papers, this time in the middle of the street! He'd walk up to a car during a red light in his walker and knock on the window and try to sell his papers. Now where we're located, there is an exit for the busy Midtown Tunnel, where cars come flying out and around the corner and if you aren't careful, you can get clipped if you're walking in the street. And with a frail, small 96 year-old-man with a walker, you're a sitting duck.

So I see him out there in the middle of traffic, selling papers and oblivious of the fact that cars are swerving to avoid hitting him, and I bolt out of the bar and once again, jump out onto the street to keep the cars from hitting him. I gently grab the Professor by the arm and guide him back onto the sidewalk. I tell him that he shouldn't be out in the middle of the street trying to sell papers, that it's a dangerous and busy intersection and he might get hit.

I go back inside and sure enough, ten minutes later I look out and there he is again, hawking papers out in the middle of the intersection. This time around, he's almost causing accidents as cars are screeching to a halt to avoid hitting him. I run out again and pull him back onto the sidewalk and this time, beg him to stay out of the street. What does he do?

He gives me a lecture about being 96 years old and knowing what he's doing and not to worry about him. And sure enough, within a few minutes, he's right back out there, doing his thing.

WTF???

I guess when you're 96 years old, you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want. All I can do is look out for the old guy and make sure he stays safe.


That's It. That's All I Got.