Monday, April 11, 2005

Weekend Summary

It's Monday morning after an awesome weekend (weather-wise at least), yours truly is here to give up some feedback on some of the observations of the past couple of days....(working my way back from Sunday, the most freshest info on my mind)

After a brief hiatus, our own Madame X made an appearance at our lovely establishment. She made her way to the bar, ordered a Sam Adams White Ale ("is that part of the spe-ciaaaaal?"), and began her usual ritual of laughing at her innermost thoughts. At the same time, three lads (production assistants from the show Elimidate) were enjoying a few pints with an older bloke, a transplanted New Yorker currently living in L.A. The older bloke, a retired detective and recently-retired set director , usually comes to town two or three times a year and loves to spend at least one afternoon at the bar, sharing stories and generally hearing himself talk. Definately not the shy type.

Anyhoo, The older bloke began to buy shots of SoCo/Lime for the boys, turns around and sees Madame X and offers her a shot. She asks if they (the boys) will be partaking in the drink and he answers yes. She obliges. Thus, begins about three hours of shots, drinks, conversation (broken conversations anyway-remember who we are dealing with here), etc.

Over the course of the afternoon, it becomes apparent that the boys/old bloke began to fall under the mystic spell of the Madame. I could detect faint side comments from the guys about who they thought she would go with; and about the fact that she kept sitting with her legs open (she was wearing that skirt w/the boxing boots)...I started to laugh to myself. "here we go again" I thought. One by one, the boys started to drop off, mostly due to the drink. Eventually we were left with the older bloke and Elimidate P.A. #1. At one point, Madame X had gone to the bathroom and the older bloke and Elimidate P.A. #1 had the conversation that two people usually have when they are vying for the attention of the same person....("you go for it/ naw, take your best shot, dude")

A few minutes later, Elimidate P.A. #1 suddenly excused himself and went downstairs to the bathroom. It was some minutes later when they both came up from downstairs. (it turns out they were both downstairs all over each other like two rats on a piece of cheese-confirmed by a lovely british lass, more on that later)...by this time, older bloke had gone on to chew someone else's ear off and Elimidate P.A. #1 began the long (and humorous) task of having a meaningful conversation with the Madame. PICTURE THIS: Drunken fellow droning on about his career and his philosophy on life and the Madame, staring catatonically at the TV, giggling and laughing for no apparent reason. This went on for at least another hour until the Madame suddenly stood up, looked over to the older bloke and blurted out "I am ready to go home. Will you escort me?" She then grabs Elimidate P.A. #1 hand, caresses it, and plants a big wet one on him, while grabbing his arse. The bar suddenly got quiet and yours truly experienced flashbacks reminicent of an drug trip (still traumatized from when she grabbed my own arse)...
He was of course, speechless (or shit-faced, take your pick) when the Madame immediately dragged the older bloke out of the bar and towards her lair. The rest of the bar kinda looked at each other, than laughed hysterically. Bizzare indeed.

Back to the British lass. She came in earlier in the afternoon (before all of the nonsense started) with I assume to be her boyfriend. They were drinking pints and watching the Masters golf tournament (congrats to Le Tigre, by the way). During the course of the afternoon, we struck up a conversation and turns out they were really cool people. They were from outside London, England and were in town for the week to celebrate her 26th birthday and to do a bit of shopping. At one point, they were sitting at the bar, next to Madame X and during one of her laughing fits, I discreetly wrote a note to her letting her know that Madame X was harmless, but a bit of a "nutter", to which she found amusing. She then confirmed that she saw Madame X and Elimidate P.A. #1 making out by the restrooms (I think the term she used was "disturbing"). In any case, they were pretty cool.

More to come.....