Tuesday, October 18, 2005

WHO SAID PINK HATS ARE FOR GIRLS....

Sorry for the late recap- yours truly needed some time to recover from the hectic weekend. And speaking of such, let's get right down to business....

SATURDAY

Now Saturdays are usually my day off and this was no exception; I'd planned on catching up on some sleep, then go off to do some laundry and then trek downtown for some "SwanTime", if you know what I mean. I was all set to trek off to the laundromat when I got a S.O.S. from my day bartender, saying that he needed some help ASAP. I thought there might have been a fight going on or he was getting robbed. So I rushed downstairs, sweats and all and ran into a JAMMED-PACKED bar, full of Penn State, Michigan, Notre Dame and USC fans, shouting and cheering at the TV's. There were empty glasses everywhere, the bartender frantically trying to keep up with orders and clean glasses, and of course, my porter is nowhere to be found.

SO.... I immediately jumped behind the bar and started washing glasses and helping out in any way I could. What I thought would take a few minutes actually turned into four hours of debauchery and chaos. The fans were so into their games that it sounded like you were actually at a stadium. The Penn State fans were feeling jubilant because they were well on their way to a win over a tough Michigan team- they were so pumped up that they began chanting fight songs at the top of their voices.....THEN SHE CAME.

SHE was a little old lady who made her way to the end of the bar and demanding to speak to me. As soon as I saw her, I already knew what she was going to say. She began reading me the riot act about how loud it was (I think the word she used was "hootinanny") and that she could hear everything from the 16th floor of her apartment across the street, and that I needed to do something about the noise RIGHT NOW or else she was calling the police and the community board...Of course this took place at the most pivotal part of the Penn State/Michigan game, with one second left.

So here I am, trying to keep up with thirsty customers, closing windows, picking up glasses and escorting old ladies out of the bar...pretty chaotic. As it turned out, Michigan ended up winning the game, and the Penn State fans (who outnumbered the Michigan fans 10-1) stood around stunned. The quiet lasted only a moment as the Notre Dame/USC game was still going on. ND had been taking the fight to the #1 team all game long and as the end of the game drew near, the ND fans could taste victory. But as with the Penn St. game, victory was snatched from their grasp and once again the loud cheering suddenly stopped and dejected fans poured out of the bar. By then, it was around 8pm and my night staff had arrived. When all was said and done, I was a mess, my day bartender was exhausted, and we had rung up probably our best Saturday afternoon in years. So while I ended up not enjoying a day off, it was still satisfying knowing that I had a part in what turned out to be a good day. I was wiped and fell asleep by 10pm.

SUNDAY

I woke up early Sunday, well rested and ready to face the NFL rush. I was in the middle of preparing for the day and had one of the windows opened to let in some air. I turned around for one second and as soon as I look up, there's MR. YOU KNOW THE DRILL, looking like he just came in from the night before. This guy had been begging for a nickname ever since he discovered the blog and what I noticed about him was that he always said "you know the drill" after almost every sentence. In any case, he was officially the first one at the bar, at least an hour and a half before I was scheduled to open. So I put him to work, sending him out on errands to pick up supplies for the day, while I finished prepping for the day.

I finally opened the bar and the patrons began to stroll in. We had another COORS LIGHT promo set up for that day and I made sure that someone from the company showed up this time. Last time we had a promo set up, we were supposed to have some COORS LIGHT MODELS show up- instead, all we had was a cardboard cutout of a COORS LIGHT girl, dressed up in a referee's outfit and the boys abused her like a ragdoll. We also got a visit from THE MAYOR OF MURRAY HILL, who was hoping to spend the afternoon with the gang and especially HASH BROWNIE, since she's leaving us in a couple of weeks. Now most of the gang was present, sans NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (who was enroute from a weekend trip in Charlotte, N.C.), ANGEL (who was enroute from a long disappointing night in Charlottesville, VA), and THE GOOD SAMARITAN (M.I.A. as usual). Everyone else was there, ready to rock and roll....except the guest of honor herself, HASH BROWNIE!

Now if memory serves me correct, when HASH BROWNIE announced that she was moving back to the Sunshine State, she made a declaration that she was spending her remaining Sundays with the crew; and she's missed TWICE since then! Now I'm not one for bustin balls and I know it's important to have that "alone" time and all...but when THE MAYOR comes all the way down from Orange County to hang with the gang....then you do what you gotta do...or at least send a courtesy acknowledgement or somethin...damn. So while the gang was disappointed at the no-show by HASH BROWNIE, they did their best to carry on.....

As the afternoon went on, a group of people came in, dressed in Halloween garb. They were friends of UCONN FAN and had been out shopping for Halloween gear. The group were dressed in weird wigs and hats, one being a rather obnoxious pink pimp hat. Of course, the peanut gallery took notice and ran with it. GOLDIE, AFRIKA BAMBATTA and the effervescent T-BILL decided it would be cool to wear this....ugly pink hat and show the group what it takes to be a "real pimp"; the results were hilarious! I'll include the pics in the new poll (who's the best looking pimp?)... but to give you a preview- here they are in all of their glory.

Everyone got a big laugh and it was definitely one of the highlights of the day. After the late afternoon games, the bar began to clear out as it usually does and it gave me an opportunity to clean up a bit. It was another busy day at Third and Long and I somehow survived. The Halloween crew were still hanging out and enjoying their drinks when THE MAYOR showed up again. He had spent most of the afternoon with the gang at 3 & L when he had to "disappear" for a bit to meet some friends for dinner at the WATERFRONT ALE HOUSE. I guess he had too many slices of "Grandma's Apple Pie" and eventually came back to the bar, feeling no pain... He immediately made friends with the Halloween group and next thing you know, they are playing around with props and joking with each other. Somehow, this "prop" ended up on my bar: a little BILL CLINTON doll. Um, sort of a doll. It was one of those wind-up dolls that did "wind-up" things, if you know what I mean... Words cannot describe it. I'd post the picture, but I think I might offend some Clinton fans. In any case, it's funny to see.

My weekend ended as it always does, with a visit from the CUSACK BOYS. These guys are pretty low key, yet cool guys who mostly keep to themselves and have intellectual conversations over....I guess stuff that intellectuals like to discuss. I've had quite a few conversations with them and while we may not always agree on things, it's cool to talk with them nevertheless. They usually close the bar and Sunday night was no exception.

All told, it was a pretty hectic, yet hearty weekend. I hope the delay was worth the wait!

NUFF SAID