Friday, November 18, 2005


Last night was by far the coldest night of the young fall season. With the temperatures dropping faster than Kirtsie Alley's weight, it seemed to have had an effect on the foot traffic on the Avenue. Sparse crowds on the street made the evening's prospects of a good night, spotty at best.

SEXY BLONDE arrived with her usual pep in her step- she always seems to be in a good mood, even when she's having a crappy day. In this case, she was in pretty chipper mood; she was also sporting a rather nifty haircut. I noticed it right away and I think she was impressed that I did. She said that she'd gotten it the day before and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. I complimented her on it; I think it's a good look for her.

Soon after, THE ITALIAN STALLION arrived. I haven't seen him in awhile, as he was busy studying for the FDNY Lieutenant's exam. He said that he was glad to be back to work at the bar and that he missed everyone. He's another happy-go-lucky guy who is rarely in a bad mood. A good trait to have when working the bar business as you will soon find out later.....

The night itself was rather mundane; we got a pre-game visit from both our softball and basketball teams. Most bar teams go to the bar after they've played their game or match. Not our teams. I think we have the only teams that tailgate BEFORE the game as well as celebrate after the game. Ironically enough, our softball team is playing for the championship this weekend, so maybe there's something to this pregame-tailgate thing....

Throughout the night, while we really didn't have a big hit of customers, we were steady enough that it made the night go by without wanting to stick needles in your eye. However, we did seem to get our share of drunken jackasses. Each hour seemed to produce at least one idiot who would get on the nerves of either the bartenders or myself. Like the two drunken idiots who decided that they would drink someone else's beers while they were in the restroom. It was one of those moments where you had to ask yourself: "did they just do that?". Needless to say, they were tossed faster than a McDonald's salad. Interestingly enough, one of the guys that got tossed out, rambled back to the bar about an hour later, disheveled, drunker than ever, and saturated in urine across the front of his pants. And he couldn't figure out why I wouldn't let him back in.

Not much later, another guy came into the bar and took a spot at the corner of the bar, near the CUSACK BOYS, who'd been sitting in the corner of the bar, talking amongst themselves. I'd gone to the bathroom for a quick break and when I returned to the front of the bar, I glanced in their direction, only to notice one of the boys with his hand down to the side, giving me a subtle gesture to come to the bar. As I walked towards the bar, I overheard the guy getting loud with THE ITALIAN STALLION, bitching about the price of a bottle of beer. I walked up to the bar and before I could speak, THE STALLION calmly explained to the guy that the price of the beer was correct and that if he wanted it, he would have to pay for it. The guy eventually decided to pay and grumbled a bit. I give THE STALLION credit for biting his tongue because the guy was definitely acting like a dick for no reason. The guy looked at me, then looked at the CUSACK BOYS and ITALIAN STALLION and decided that he'd only have the one beer and then leave. He apologized to everyone and began to drink his beer. My gut feeling told me to stick around so I did just that.

Two gulps of beer later, the guy started up again; this time he tried to push the buttons of the CUSACK BOYS. From what I could make of it, he'd start out apologizing for the previous incident, then he would throw a dig at one of the guys. The CUSACK BOYS took him lightly at first, but then you couldn't help but notice that they were starting to get pissed at the guy. I then stepped in and asked the guy to finish his beer and leave the guys alone. He would then apologize and sure enough, a few minutes later, he would try to start in again. Finally, enough was enough. I told the guy to move away from the bar, finish his drink and hit the road. By then, his buddy had walked into the bar, no doubt, looking for him. They saw each other, gave a quick embrace and then the first guy all of a sudden looked more confident and tried to start in on the BOYS again, not realizing that his buddy had gone to the bathroom. I stepped in between the guys and forced the guy to the door and waited with him for his friend to come out of the bathroom so that they could both leave. Eventually his friend came out of the bathroom and they left the bar. I walked outside to make sure they dispersed.

The first guy was trying to talk some shit but I really wasn't paying attention to him; he then asked me for a cigarette. At that moment, BOOM- out comes my little British friend, happily drunk and ready to smoke a cigarette. Now this guy is one of the nicest guys in the world and wouldn't harm a fly. He goes into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He offers a cigarette to the first guy who takes it. He offers the second guy a cigarette, and he declines, saying something derogatory about taking cigarettes from the likes of "him". Of course, my British friend (who is of Indian decent), took offense to the comment and I rolled my eyes thinking "holy shit, here we go again". At that point I tell the two guys to "fuck off" and pull my buddy aside and they eventually stagger off. Luckily for me, my little British friend was too drunk to follow up on his anger or else we may very well have had a donnybrook outside of the bar.

And if that wasn't enough, the flu bug from H-E-L-L continues to wreck havoc on me. I don't need the aggravation, just a good night's sleep.

What a friggin' night.



Join the staff and friends of THIRD & LONG as we celebrate the GREAT IRISH LIFT! From 6-9pm, we will attempt to pour 100 perfect pints of GUINNESS! There will be plenty of GUINNESS to be had and great prize giveaways! So join the old friends, make new ones and lift a pint of the mother's milk with the staff! I expect to see everyone there! BRILLIANT!


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