Monday, January 9, 2006

DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD AT APPLEBEES?

Sunday afternoon was a pretty obnoxious one on many fronts. First of all, you had the NFL PLAYOFFS, which set the stage for a lot of shit-talking betwixt the fellas.
There were the ever-confident GIANTS fans, who came in thinking that they pretty much had the game in the bag, only to walk out with a wimper, tail between the legs after a thorough butt-whoopin', courtesy of the CAROLINA PANTHERS. One GIANTS fan in particular, whom i'll dub "MR. AMSTERDAM" (a good friend of one of our regulars, SHAFT), looked especially pained at the loss of his beloved team. I swore, I thought I may have even noticed a tear at the corner of his eye. Of course, his pain was made worse by the constant taunting by MR. REDSKINS FAN himself, AFRIKA BAMBATTA, stirring up the pot as usual.

The cast of regulars were out in full force today: AFRIKA BAMBATTA, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, T-BILL, ANGRY BLACK, THE WHIPPET BOYS, the PEANUT GALLERY (JAY, SILENT BOB, AND AMERICAN PSYCHO); MR-LOW-KEY was also holding court with his groupies; He had an interesting day himself (more on that later). We even had a surprise appearance from BLONDE CHATTERBOX, who originally stopped by at around 4pm to say hello, while on her way to the supermarket to pick up groceries. I think she was going to make dinner for her and her boyfriend... Three hours and many pints of MAGNERS later, BLONDE CHATTERBOX was STILL at the bar, in no hurry to go shopping, let alone, go home to cook. Funny stuff. Would love to be a fly on the wall when she got back to her place.

There were also a large contingent of PITTSBURGH STEELERS fans in attendance to watch their beloved team score a comeback victory over the CINCINNATI BUNGLES, who practically gave away the game. One group of STEELERS fans somehow got into it (verbally) with MR. LOW-KEY and it got to the point where yours truly had to step in and separate the folks or else MR. LOW-KEY would have probably been in the Daily News Police Blotter for throwing the beatdown on a group of geeky fans. Let me just say that the STEELERS fans in question said some not-so-nice things about the lady friend of MR. LOW-KEY (who was rather cute, btw); and if looks could kill, they'd all be dead. I was pretty impressed in the way he held control of himself as he was well within his rights to throw a couple of shots, if you know what I mean.

In all, it was profile one of the best days (in terms of sheer fun and antics) I've seen on a Sunday in a while. Throughout the afternoon, there were plenty of jokes being told, "gentlemen drinks" to be sipped, shots to be downed, chicks to check out; you name it, it probably happened. Oh and as for the blurb about the five-year old and APPLEBEES....



It was reported in the NY POST that some dimwitted waiter at an APPLEBEES in Long Island mistakenly served a five-year old a Long Island Iced Tea. Seems that the kid had his "drink" and got so drunk that he began to lick the bread basket and laughing uncontrollably. The parents then realized that he had been served the alcoholic drink instead of the drink they requested for him. So in honor of such a dubious act, we had our favorite whipping boy, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE drink a Long Island Iced Tea out of a baby bottle, nipple and all. You can't make this stuff up. Photos to follow. As always, if there is something I forgot to add, feel free to drop a note on the comments board.

In the meantime, DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS is here! $1 Bud and Bud Light MUGS all night long!

That's it for now. Gotta get some ZZZZZZZZZZ! Catch up with you later.

NUFF SAID