1.01.2007

Monday, January 1, 2007


RINGING IN THE NEW YEAR.... (the LONG recap)

After sleeping until about 5pm today, I knew one thing was for certain: New Year's Eve was truly a memorable night; at the very least, a L-O-N-G one. I knew I would be in for an interesting New Year's when I realized that I would be working what would amount to about a 20 hour day. So putting my game face on, I set out on tackling the holiday.

The day started out with my regular Sunday shift. I wasn't expecting too much action because many of the regulars were still away on holiday, celebrating New Year's out of town. However, I realized early on that with about a million people expected to hit Times Square for the ball drop, that at least a drop of that figure would still want to catch some football in the afternoon. So I ended up getting some tourists in to catch some games.

While that was going on, some of the Brew Crew regulars who were still in town stopped by for what was supposed to be a "quick one" before preparing for the evening's festivities. Of course, that meant nothing. After a few rounds of Car Bombs, DIRTY SANCHEZ, MR. CHIPS, BABY GIRL, SILENT BOB, and new members AUDI 5000 and JEFFREY DAHMER were in no rush to leave. While this was going on, the gang was swapping stories about what took place the night before (SILENT BOB's birthday). Apparently, DIRTY SANCHEZ found himself engrossed in a conversation/ possible hook-up with a "MILF". He said that he got her phone number- of course, always finding a way to stir the pot, I dared him to call her. He wouldn't.... at first, but after a couple of cocktails and the power of peer pressure, he found himself going outside to call her. Needless to say, the pot-stirring didn't stop there as I dispatched JEFFREY DAHMER to go out and take a photo of him actually making the phone call. What I didn't count on was the rest of the Brew Crew members running outside with him and taunting him while he was trying to make the call.

It's probably safe to say that after that phone call, DIRTY SANCHEZ will be no phone call from the MILF, nor will be be no closer to making it to the "promised land" in the land of Booty Call. Bless his heart.

As the afternoon went on, I quietly observed MR. CHIPS and started to notice a transformation taking place with our cherubic friend (cherubic -che·rubic- having a sweet nature befitting an angel or cherub; "an angelic smile"; "a cherubic face"; "looking so seraphic when he slept"; "a sweet disposition"). As the Gentleman's drinks flowed smoothly, he began to buy rounds of Car Bombs (lethal in more ways than one). Then he began to talk about setting up a fight night (like a boxing match). He always brings this topic up after a few rounds of Gentleman's and I always turn him down, mostly because the last thing I want to see is my friends beating each other to a pulp, even if it is for fun.

SILENT BOB, starts pushing his buttons about the whole fight club thing off and on and as I look on, I can see the tide turning on MR. CHIPS' demeanor. Next thing you know, he's literally chasing SILENT BOB around the bar! I'm screaming at him to take it easy a.) because I didn't want him to kill SILENT BOB as his meathooks carry more weight than he realizes; and b.) I didn't want him to break any of my windows in the process.






















Needless to say, it was one of the funniest things I'd ever witnessed.

After the afternoon games ended, the bar emptied out and my barback OPIE CUNNINGHAM and I began to prepare the bar for the New Year's Eve rush. We had to put up streamers and stock up on alcohol and things like that and I have to admit, I was excited for the evening's activities. I found that I have a love/hate relationship for New Year's Eve. I hate the "amateur hour" aspect of the night- folks boozing it up til they are out of control- not realizing their limits. It's like glorified babysitting. At the same time, I do get a kick out of watching people get all sappy over the striking of midnight and declaring a "fresh start" to the new year and in a sense, their personal lives. And what's with everyone having to call the whole world at midnight? What' s the big deal with that? And while I'm on that subject, what's with everyone having to kiss each other at that time ( Not that I'm complaining as I was welcomed with a few unexpected, but well-planted smooches myself)? I never quite understood that tradition.

In any case, the night started slowly, however, as the clock ticked closer to midnight, the bar began to fill up and next thing you know, the place is slammed with drunken revelers singing, dancing, tooting horns and screaming "HAPPY NEW YEAR!". The rest of the night was a blur as I found myself running all over the place, helping out the bartenders and OPIE CUNNINGHAM as much as possible to make sure the night ran as smoothly as possible.
























By then my trusty new camera had of course, died on me again. Which was too bad because there were quite a few sights that were blogworthy; For example:

*The number of chicks making out with each other, both friendly and "friendly".

*AMERICAN PSYCHO living up to his name by trying to set SILENT BOB's wig on fire.

*SILENT BOB berating me one minute for not serving his CLEARLY OVERSERVED self, screaming "I'm boycotting this bar and never coming here again!", then minutes later, shaking his booty with BABY GIRL in the middle of the dance floor to SHAKIRA's "Hips Don't Lie" and proclaiming his love for the bar. Go figure.

*FREEJACK headbutting me in the stomach while JON CUSACK looked at me with weary eyes. She packs a mean punch.

*DIRTY SANCHEZ attempting to do the triple-tongue kiss with two lovely ladies. It must have been the suit.

*The group of tourists from L.A. chillin' out in the back of the bar, commenting on how cool NYC was.

*The drunk chick passed out in the champagne room with her wig lying on the floor in a pile of puke.

*Oh, and how could I forget about the guy who proposed to his girlfriend in the back of the bar, and she said no, causing him to storm out of the bar. Ouch.







































By the end of the night, after assessing the damage to the place (which aside from the various puddles of beer, liquor and puke was pretty minimal), I thanked the good lord for a great night where everyone had fun and no one got hurt and locked the place up and headed for some much-needed sleep.

Today begins the odyssey of 2007. Here's hoping everyone has a big year!


NUFF SAID

6 comments:

Kat said...

Happy New Year Swan!
*hugs*
-K.

Anonymous said...

Swanfather,

I've got the second stupid comment of the year! Hooray! My resolution for 2007 is to continue to support the two dozen or so bartenders around the city who depend on me.

I will try to get out early tomorrow to watch the Chelsea match at 3 if you're around.

Your pal,

Mr. T.

Swa said...

Happy New Year to you too, Kat and Mr. T., I may just take you up on that offer, my friend.

SD

Anonymous said...

The guy in the Pink shirt/jacket is DEAD SEXY!

Anonymous said...

He may be DEAD SEXY but we aren't doing that anymore........l

Anonymous said...

I think the jacket and shirt clashed with the chest hair and glasses.

-5000