Friday, March 21, 2008

GIRLS ARE.... NASTY.

Yesterday was a predictably busy day at the bar with March Madness dominating the action of the day. The afternoon session was steady with hardcore college basketball fans sneaking out of work or taking "long lunches" to catch up on their bracket pool sheets. A good start to the day.

The evening was pretty hectic. I had a new barback that I was breaking in and last night was literally a baptism by fire (of which he passed with flying colors) for the poor guy. Then there was the pack of Duke fans who were going at it (good natured fun, I might add) with newly found Belmont University fans. There was almost a fight between members of each camp, but it was quickly squashed before it got out of hand.

There was also a Coors Light promo, featuring a couple of young ladies who were, for a lack of a better term, hot (that was the term used by more than a few drooling fellas). The promo involved the painting of T-Shirts and trying to find the Coors Light #1 College Basketball Fan. Those who partook in the fun basically had to come up with a cheer and a dance and to make a complete ass of themselves for a chance to win a trip to Las Vegas. Most of the contestants were pretty lame, but hey, at least they had fun.











However, things took a turn towards the sublime when I received an emergency text from ANGEL (who was hanging out with her posse) saying that the ladies room toilet was overflowing with poo. So I dispatched the poor new barback to investigate the situation. He came back, shaking his head. So I went down to see for myself and sure enough- one of the toilets was overflowing and there were indeed mini-logs shaped like tootsie rolls all over the floor. Are you shitting me (excuse the pun)????

So I go and get the plunger and begin whacking away at the toilet, trying to unclog whatever it was that was jammed up in there. However, every time I'd get the water to recede a bit, as soon as I gave the toilet a flush, it would fill up again and a few more nuggets would hit the floor. In the meantime, chicks would venture into the bathroom, shriek in disgust and run right back out.

After about 30 minutes of fruitless plunging, mopping and cursing, I finally gave up. I tried to close off the stall but the water still kept seeping over the bowl, and I decided at that moment to make a call to a professional. Normally I would have held off until the morning, but the stench and constant overflow caused me to make the call.

The Roto-Rooter Expert showed up at about an hour later with two huge snaking devices. After painstakingly maneuvering his tools in the flooded toilet for what seemed like forever, the expert finally got the water down and the toilet flushing again. Things were finally looking up. Or so I thought.

After the Roto-Rooter Expert left, within an hour, the toilet was backed up again. This time I threw my hands up in disgust and called the expert again. We agreed to have the guy come back out in the morning (the bar was thinning out by then) and I would close off the toilet until then.

Our Roto-Rooter Expert came by early this morning and this time he came armed with an assistant and some tools that I couldn't even begin to describe. After taking apart the toilet, we found the source of the problem:

A cell phone.

A freakin' cell phone. Again, are you shitting me?

A whole night of plunging toilets, swabbing up fecal matter, enduring complaints and shrieks from traumatized women and for what? Because some drunken bimbo dropped her cell phone in the toilet and jammed it up???? WTF!?

This is indeed a thankless job. Shit happens.


More photos from last night....






AFTER WORK HAPPY HOUR TONIGHT (5pm -10pm); All beers, mixed well drinks and house wines, $4.00! More NCAA Hoops action (all games/all night)!


See you then. And please, hold on to your cell phones.



Nuff Said