It's about 3pm on a lazy Sunday afternoon and I'm at the bar with a few of the regulars. There's a lot of sports on the TV at the moment and I just had to quash a mini-argument between Hockey and NASCAR fans over the volume controls, of all things. So I had a "Solomon moment" and decided to divide the volume equally with one side of the bar having NASCAR and the other side of the bar having Hockey.
One catastrophe averted (though I think TURBO ended up leaving in a huff anyways when I told him to shut up after he began to whine about his race).
I am in the search for a backgammon game or a place that sells 'em. I used to be a backgammon fiend in high school; even had a pretty nice backgammon board (a nice periwinkle and brown leather/suede board). I somehow forgot to bring it with me when I came out to New York for college and I haven't played since. But recently I've rediscovered my urge to play again, especially since Sundays are well suited for that kind of game. But of course, in order to play, you gotta get board. So if anyone knows where there's a good gaming store in the area that sells that sort of thing, then let me know.
One funny story from Saturday night.
It was close to closing time and people began trickling outside. I was actually in bed but was awakened by the sounds of a large group of guys, chatting loudly. I got out of bed and looked out the window and as I checked out the situation, this Asian
guy was walking by, finishing off a slice a pizza. He was heading towards the garbage can to throw away the paper plate. I guess he must have inadvertently bumped into one of the guys because next thing you know, he's having words with the group. One guy in particular was more annoyed than the rest- he stood out because he was wearing a strange looking hat; One of those police hats that the London "Bobbies" wear.Getting back to the story, "London Bobby" decides to take things a step further and get up into the Asian guy's face- and to his credit, the Asian guy didn't back down. Finally, "London Bobby" throws a shot right at this guy's face. The Asian guy looks shocked at first, then laughs it off. "London Bobby" then throws another shot, hitting the Asian guy in the face again. I guess the Asian guy looked at the situation and thought better of getting into it with "London Bobby", due to the fact that he was woefully outnumbered, 7 to 1. So after a few more words, the Asian guy decided to take the high road and walk away.
This obviously didn't sit well with "London Bobby", who wanted to fight the poor guy. His friends kept telling him to leave it alone, it was over. But "London Bobby" kept running his mouth until one of the guys said "alright, if you really want to fight the guy that bad, go ahead".
Next thing you know, "London Bobby" went scampering up the block and caught up with the Asian guy, startling him in the process. "London Bobby" threw a couple of punches at the Asian guy and then something strange happened: The Asian guy began fighting back.
Not only did he begin fighting back, the Asian guy actually began whipping "London Bobby's" ass. He beat this guy up so good that it was actually comical to watch. Finally "London Bobby's" boys ran over and broke it up and sent the Asian guy on his way, which was impressive in itself; I've seen too many instances when a one-on-one fight becomes a five-on-one mismatch.
The best part of the whole fight? After getting his ass whupped, "London Bobby" tried to get back into the bar, only to be denied by BIG BLACK at the door. What a way to end your night, buddy!
FLASH!!!!
So I'm sitting here, again with the computer and this older woman comes into the bar, alone. You can sense immediately that she's not the most normal person on the planet. She takes a seat at the end of the bar, by the windows and begins chatting up THAT DAY BARTENDER GUY. So I steer clear of her and go about my business. She hangs out for a little while, enjoys cocktail or two, then leaves. No big deal.
An hour or so later, she comes back and takes up her seat at the end of the bar again. This time around, her behavior is a bit more erratic; she's making weird comments, talking to anyone who would listen. Sometimes she would put her head down. And she's staring at pretty much everyone in the place. Weird.
At one point, I get up to put something on the bar; she jumps up from her stool and saunters over towards me. I see her coming, but want no part of her. So I don't give her any eye contact whatsoever. She stands in front of me for a bit, then it became painfully obvious that she's trying to get my attention, I look up and ask if I could help her.
"I want a hug!" she says.
"Excuse me?" I replied.
"If you want a TV, you better give me a hug!" She exclaimed.
"Um.... sorry, I have a TV. I'm not giving you a hug. I don't know you!" I said to her sharply.
She stood there and stared at me, not backing down one bit.
"Okay, if I let you hug me, will you leave me alone?" I asked. She leaned into me and gave me a hug. More like a bearhug. After what seemed like an eternity (especially with BABY GIRL, MR. LOW-KEY, THAT DAY BARTENDER GUY and OH DANNY BOY laughing at me hysterically), she finally let go and went back to her seat.
Very weird. Oh, and it gets better.
So after that strange exchange, I went back to my seat to resume work on my computer. A few minutes later, she jumps up from her seat again and began walking towards me.
"Oh great. Here we go again" I mumbled under my breath.
This time she stopped directly in front of me and stared for a bit. Then she began reaching over my laptop and tried to peck away at my computer! This time I looked at her like she had three heads. She thought she was being funny but I was clearly annoyed at this weird woman who enjoyed stepping into my personal space. So I grabbed her by the wrists and asked her to stop. She of course, thought I was kidding around and began to laugh and speak to me as if she had marbles in her mouth. She eventually got the hint and shuffled her way back to her seat, during which I motioned to THAT DAY BARTENDER GUY to cut her off.
By this time, the hockey game ended and I put on some music. Bad idea. Doll baby jumped out of her stool and began to saunter around the bar, looking for a dance partner. When no one volunteered, she slowly began making her way towards me when she all of a sudden, did a twirl that probably would have looked cool..... if she was sober. Instead, she twirled and almost fell on top of BABY GIRL, who was sitting at one of the little tables by the window.
"That's it! Get her outta here!" I said to THE DAY BARTENDER GUY. He scampered from behind the bar and guided her outside (with MR. LOW-KEY'S help) and finally got her into a cab. Talk about bizarre!
You simply cannot make this stuff up. For real.
Nuff Said
1 comment:
Hmmm...maybe I shouldn't come to NYC with crazy people like that around.
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