Wednesday, April 9, 2008

CREEPY McCREEP HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!

It looks like we've added a new member to the "BANNED FROM THIRD AND LONG HALL OF FAME". Last night we got another visit from the man known around here as "CREEPY McCREEP", the brooding loner who makes his presence felt by shuffling up to you and staring at you for long periods of time. He endears himself to the bartenders by yelling at them for weird drink requests. Just the kind of guy that would make your skin crawl.

The events of last night put him over the top and onto the BANNED LIST (probably straight to the top of the list, mind you). He started out by making his way into the corner of the bar, where ANGRY BLACK was sitting with a couple of friends. He stared at them for a bit and slowly forced himself into that area we all know as the "Personal Space Zone" and began interrupting their conversation. He creeped them out so bad that they got up and moved to the back of the bar.

Now finding himself all alone again, he scans the room and begins to make his way through the bar, staring at people in the process. Of course, folks are feeling uncomfortable, especially the women. There was an empty stool next to a couple of guys near me and when he tried to make his way over to us, I immediately shooed him away. I think that took him for a loop because he stopped in his tracks and stared at me.

After a few minutes, he makes his towards the back of the bar, where ANGRY BLACK and his friends were sitting. This time, he walks right up on them, stares down at them, then begins doing this weird dance behind ANGRY BLACK's head. I see this and I knew this guy was going to have to leave soon, before he got his ass kicked by someone in the bar.

FIRE MARSHALL ED sees this as well and we both decided that we better cut his night short and get him out of here. So we tried to get him to close out his tab and he objects. The more we try to reason with him, the nastier he gets. All of a sudden he jumps into this weird karate pose and threatens to kick out asses. It gets better.

So the both of us take this guy by each arm and we "escort" him out of the bar. Once we get outside, he really begins to mouth off at the staff, particularly at FIRE MARSHALL and myself. At one point he reaches into his jacket pocket and says "Don't make me pull it out", as if he was going to grab a knife or a gun. So I immediately grab his wrist to prevent him from doing it. He's telling me to let him go and tries to give me a karate chop with his free hand. All the while, he's got this MIKE TYSON-like lisp going, which made me chuckle.

I guess he didn't like the fact that I was laughing because he then dropped the dreaded N-bomb on me. Great. Now he's going there. He did it again and I gave him a shove and told him to be on his way; that was his freebie. I guess he thought that by continuing to drop the N-bomb on me, it was going to make me go crazy and beat him to a pulp. However, I've been hit with the N-bomb by drunks in the past and to retaliate by violence would only make me as ignorant as them. So I choose to do the opposite, which is to laugh and belittle the person, which ultimately makes that person look stupid.

By this time, a small crowd has gathered and here's CREEPY McCREEP, standing on East 35th street, in a wimpy karate pose, dropping N-bombs left and right, trying to goad me into a fight. I'm trying to get him to walk away, and at one point, he lunges at me. As I go to defend myself, out of the corner of my eye, a body flashes by me and there's FIRE MARSHALL ED, berating him and shoving him away from me. Next thing you know, this guy is literally flying across East 35th street, eating concrete the whole way. Wow. This guy got such a shove that he flew out of his shoes!

At this point, the guy really looks like a total dick because he continues to try and goad me into a fight. I force FIRE MARSHALL ED back into the bar and I walk away myself, with the ringing sounds of N-bombs in my ears. The small crowd claps for us and taunts the nutty guy until he finally walks away. Pretty bizarre.

So at the end of the day, I found myself pretty annoyed with CREEPY Mc CREEP, to the point that I had to ban him. I also found a newfound respect for FIRE MARSHALL ED who stuck up for me when the creep tried to degrade me. Don't get me wrong, I know that FIRE MARSHALL would do anything for me and vice-versa, but to see him actually get upset at what this guy was trying to do, well, wow. Gotta give the guy props. Much appreciated.

A weird night, filled with weird happenings. At Third and Long I guess you have to expect the unexpected every once in awhile.

NHL PLAYOFFS BEGIN TONIGHT

OTTAWA SENATORS VIEWING PARTY TONGHT!

The NHL Playoffs begin tonight with four matches:

NJ DEVILS vs NY RANGERS (7pm) OTTAWA SENATORS vs PITTSBURGH PENGUINS (7pm) COLORADO AVALANCHE vs MINNESOTA WILD (9pm) CALGARY FLAMES vs SAN JOSE SHARKS (10pm)

All games will be televised via our NHL Center Ice Package.

$3.00 MOLSON CANADIAN DRAFTS $3.00 Mixed Well Drinks (FOR LADIES) Coors Light Buckets (5/$15.00) ALL NIGHT LONG!

Nuff Said