Friday, May 9, 2008

THIRD AND LONG: THE NEW BADA-BING???

From time to time, the bar will experience what New Yorkers like to call a "Celebrity Sighting", where someone "famous" (and I use that term loosely) enters the bar for a cocktail (or two). In the past, we've been grace by the presence of individuals in the entertainment industry, such as Jack Wagner, Nathan Lane, Marisa Tomei, Vincent D'Onofrio, Puff Daddy, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo; And sports figures, such as Roger Clemens, Kenny Lofton, Ron Darling, Chuck Knoblauch, David Wright, Michael Peca, Derian Hatcher, and a host of other athletes and quite a few "C" list reality stars, just to name a few.

Yesterday some of the staff and patrons had planned a surprise 30th birthday party for one of our bartenders, SULLY D (better known as SULLY CRABAPPLE). The original plan was to schedule him to work his bartender shift and when he arrived, everyone would be waiting for him to surprise him on his birthday. Alas, SULLY CRABAPPLE figured out the plan and became a royal pain in the arse about the whole thing, keeping everyone waiting for more than an hour for his arrival.

Among the guests waiting to say happy birthday was none other than TONY "Paulie Walnuts" SIRICO , of the hit TV series, THE SOPRANOS. The place was abuzz with excitement when this guy came into the bar. Dressed much like his character from the show, the voice, mannerisms, attitude totally oozed "Paulie Walnuts"; So much so, you couldn't help but to think he was the real deal. I guess his role on the show wasn't a real stretch after all.

While everyone waited patiently for Numbnuts to arrive, "Paulie Walnuts" worked the room, shaking hands, holding conversations and happily obliging to take a photo or two with admiring patrons in the bar.

After what seemed to be an eternity, the star of the night finally decided to show up for his own party. Everyone gave him a great applause and then proceeded to give him shit for being late and being a spoiled sport about a surprise party that he was supposed to enjoy. As SULLY CRABAPPLE made his way to the back of the bar, guess who's sitting in the back, waiting for the birthday boy with open arms?


Yes, Paulie Walnuts. It turns out that he's a friend of the family and he stopped by to pay his respects to the birthday boy himself. He ended up staying a few more minutes before finally leaving with his pals.

A funny sidenote: I was standing outside, having a chat with THAT DAY BARTENDER GUY. As the men walked out the bar, they stood outside in front and began having A conversation when THE DAY BARTENDER GUY interrupts Paulie Walnuts to shake his hand. Paulie Walnuts turns and recognizes THAT DAY BARTENDER GUY, so after he shakes hands with the bartender, he goes into his pocket and pulls out a wad of bills that would choke a horse and peeled off a couple of sawbucks. Paulie then shoves the tip into THAT DAY BARTENDER GUY's hand and after a minute of two of bantering, Paulie finally threatens to kick his ass if he didn't accept the tip and for a brief moment, I felt like I was on "The Sopranos". After accepting the tip, I swear I thought THAT DAY BARTENDER GUY was ready to have full sex with this guy. Pretty funny actually.










Then there was TURBO....


Our dear friend came in with a work colleague and sat down for some cocktails. He was "squinting" so I knew that he was already in "Turbo" mode, which meant that at some point he was going to go to the Jukebox and play some deathmetal stuff and scream all of the lyircs of every song at the top of his voice.

Sure enough, my man sauntered up to the jukebox, popped in some bills and began playing the death-metal stuff, and singing at the top of his voice. As some folks began to walk out of the bar, I couldn't help but to imagine myself going into a nice, upscale eating establishment, like AQUAMARINE and cranking out some N.W.A. gangsta shit on their jukebox, just for shits and giggles. I wonder what kinda of reaction I would get? Hmmmm....

After about the third speed-death-metal song concluded, FRENCHY decided to take matters into his own hands and began canceling songs on the jukebox, as the death-metal songs kicked in. TURBO of course, took offense that his songs were getting rejected. So he walks over to FRENCHY to confront him about the canceling of his songs. As soon as he gets there, FRENCHY was waiting and tells him that he hated the music that he was playing. He then whips out a twenty-dollar bill and tells TURBO that he was going to reject all of his songs and then gave him the bill to cover the money TURBO spent on the jukebox.

We also got a brief visit from GEEK SQUAD GUY, who was rockin' an interesting shorts/shirt ensemble that included a pair of black cotton dress socks. He didn't stay very long once he realized that he had drawn attention to himself and that all of a sudden, people were noticing him and "admiring" at the outfit. He had no choice but to abandon the ship and leave the bar with his tail between his legs.

The rest of the evening went smoothly, which meant that everyone had fun. It was a L-O-N-G night though and I really began to feel it towards the end, as my sore leg began to throb. (Crap- I hate when this happens...). The birthday boy seemed please with the surprise party (once he stopped acting like a baby) and was legless when it came time for him to go home. Overall, a good time.

I could write more, but I find myself falling asleep at the keyboard. So look for another (more coherent) post later today.


Thanks for your time.


Nuff Said