8.25.2005

Thursday, August 25, 2005

WHO MADE YOU IN CHARGE?

So I'm at the laundromat today, doing my laundry. I happend to check out today's NY Post during the rinse cycle and I come across this article about some powerful "unknown" style trendsetter named Rachel Zoe. Apparently she has this magic power or something...whatever she touches instantly becomes "cool". The article gives examples on how she transformed twiggy bulimics Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan into hot trendy chicks and how she made Oompa-Loompa Bubble Sunglasses the must-have accesory around. So I'm reading this crap and I can't help but to think to myself: WHO MADE YOU IN CHARGE?

Now I've never quite caught the grasp of the art of the P.R. spin in NYC, but it seems that a select few little people have the power to hold sway over what is cool and what isn't; who's in and who's out; what places are hot and what places are not. How does this happen? Who makes the decision on who gets to hold these magical powers? And more importantly, why didn't I get the memo on this? I was having a similar conversation just last night with H.B.E. and ANGRY BLACK on how TIME OUT NEW YORK magazine has an obvious slant with preference given to anything related to Williamsburg, the East Village and the Meatpacking district, while virtually ignoring the rest of this rather large city...

Let's say...in a perfect world, I was to get a hold of one of those magic wands that the cool trendy judges get to have and began to make my own declarations:

1)Levi Jeans would be "in" again...and I might consider Gap jeans as well.

2)You would be banned from wearing eyewear that cost more than a week's salary.

3)Eating everything on your plate would be allowed.

4)Everyone would be allowed to enter clubs like Marquee.

5)As a matter of fact, places like Marquee, Aer, Butter, Toast, or any other exotic food would be considered passe.

6)You would be "encouraged" to be yourself and not a carbon copy of Sex in the City or Growing Up Gotti....

7)Average-sized people would be looked at as sex-symbols. Hell, even chubby chicks would get mad love (I'm sure MR. BLIND DATE would love that).

Now I could go on and on, but I think you catch my drift. I'm sure that the gossip columnists and paparazzi would be sad to see my vision, but screw them. It's my vision. Of course I'd have to draw the line at a certain point. Mullets would still be banned. And so would circus clowns....they give me the creeps. Otherwise, let the normal people bask in the limelight for a change. Discuss amongst yourselves.

NUFF SAID

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