Friday, October 21, 2005


As you read this, you'll notice that we are approaching 5,000 unique hits, which quite frankly, boggles my mind. I never thought I'd still be plugging away at this thing (since late January), let alone have this many hits. I couldn't have done it without my circle of loyal readers, who keep me motivated on a daily basis with their witty banter and constant feedback. And for that, I thank you.

In case you're interested, there's an open bar party tonite from 7-10pm; ALL YOU CAN DRINK for $30pp. You are cordially invited to join the staff and the basketball team that we sponsor, the boys from W.B. MASON. Should be fun....at the very least, funny.

Before I go, however, I gotta share this letter that I read in the GET NAKED with JAMIE BUFFALINO section of latest TIME OUT NEW YORK. Apparently he's a Sex Expert and people write in with their "issues". This has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever read.

"A few months ago I started getting booty calls from my ex. We had been apart for six years and she had married and divorced within that time. We're both still really attracted to each other and the sex is still great! I was starting to think that we might be able to get back together but after a recent (inebriated) discussion, all hope went out the window. We were talking about when we first met, and she brought up oral sex. She wanted to know why I don't go down on her now like I did when we first met. The way I answered that question in the past was by saying I just don't enjoy it. But that was never the case. So in my drunken (and vicodin-induced) state I blurted out the truth. I warned her that she probably would not like what I had to say, but I also offered to give her oral sex on the spot. She insisted on knowing. So I admitted that I just never liked the way she tasted down there. I could tell she was angry. I tried to explain that didn't mean I didn't like her any less. But it was game over after that. We are still friends, but she's made it clear that she won't be intimate with me again. So my questions are: Was I wrong for finally fessing up? Should I just grin and bear it with the next girl I meet with the same problem? Am I a totally selfish, insensitive bastard?"

"Although I would never say you're "wrong" for telling the truth, I might go so far as to say you were "inappropriately candid" given the delicate circumstances. The two of you were at the very early stages of rebuilding an emotional and physical connection, and then BLAMMO, you go and play the "stinky crotch" card. The "stinky crotch" card, much like the "I can't feel your dick inside me" card are extremely dangerous to play, and almost never end in success. The question here is not whether she does have a "stinky crotch" (I defer to your firsthand opinion on this one); rather, the issue is purely one of timing and interpersonal politics. For instance, had you played the "stinky crotch" card a year down the road when you were both deeply invested in the relationship, she still would have taken offense, but she would have been in a far more open-minded and open-hearted place, and likely would have sucked it up for the good of the relationship. I give you credit for trying to dilute the "stinky-crotch" bad news with an offer to eat her out right then and there, but c'mon, what woman in her right mind is going to get pleasure out of someone begrudgingly going down on her (guys, on the other hand, would not only gladly accept the offer, but would probably find it even more titillating than an actual nonbegrudging blow job). At this point, just chalk it up to another booze-and-painkiller-related social faux pas, and try to be more tactful in the future."

You can't make this stuff up.

Thanks again and keep on reading!


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