Monday, October 24, 2005


Yesterday was a typically rowdy afternoon at THIRD AND LONG. While the turnout wasn't as high as I hoped, the usual suspects made up for lighter-than-normal turnout with a lot of laughs and good-natured ribbing.

The day started early enough, with a knock at the window from one of the WHIPPET BOYS. WHIPPET BOY #1 was waiting for his sidekick and wanted to come in out of the cold, so I let him in. He told me that they had really good seats for the GIANTS/BRONCOS game and were meeting at the bar for a little pre-game before heading over to the stadium. I informed him that there were a few other people who were planning on heading to the game from the bar as well.

Sure enough, by 1pm, the bar began to fill up with thirsty customers, ready to drink and cheer on their favorite teams. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE arrived early, as usual, and brought with him his SPECIAL LADY FRIEND, who had just gotten back from Seattle and came straight from the airport. HASH BROWNIE arrived soon after, wearing her JACKIE O sunglasses, no doubt to conceal the bags undr her eyes from a long weekend of partying. T-BILL strolled in soon after, NY TIMES PUZZLE in tow for his weekly ritual. YOU KNOW THE DRILL arrived shortly after with a special guest: his new roommate, a cute blonde who found herself fitting right in with the rest of the gang rather easily. Then, there's the ringleader himself, AFRIKA BAMBATTA, always fashionably late, ready to stir up trouble. ANGEL arrived shortly after, with a blast from the past in tow, the ever lovely SEDUCTRESS, who'd traveled from Florida to escape HURRICANE WILMA, with her boyfriend, the LOVE DOCTOR, DR. FEELGOOD. She was looking as good as ever!

Everyone was talking about the events of Friday night, HASH BROWNIE'S going away party at TAJ. I, of course, was ribbed mercelessly for missing her party, but that was expected. Apparently, T-BILL was the life of the party, cutting up a mean rug in the process. That would have been worth the price of admission, that's for sure.

As the afternoon went on, the drinks flowed and the hijinx continued. AFRIKA BAMBATTA, T-BILL and NAPOLEON had a spirited discourse over who'd hook up with MADAME X. The barbs flowing back and forth were some of the funniest things I'd ever heard; I was literally in tears, I laughed so hard. In the meantime, DR. FEELGOOD looked like he wasn't feeling very good after drinking way too many bloody marys. THE SEDUCTRESS had to eventually carry him out. Bless her heart.

By this time ANGEL and HASH BROWNIE had left for the game as well. The betting line around the bar was to see how long these two would last at the game (Turns out they ended up leaving by halftime).

The games were pretty exciting and that rubbed off on the customers. Some were happy with the outcomes, others were quite upset. Not sure if they bet their rent on the games or if it was simply hometown pride, but I could have sworn that some of the guys who lost were almost ready to cry. Ouch. While the GIANTS were going for their game winning drive, the two party girls arrived from the game, feeling no pain whatsoever. We got a laugh out of that.

Eventually the games ended and everyone filed out after a L-O-N-G day of fun. Next Sunday is HASH BROWNIE's last day with us before she moves back to the Sunshine State. Rumor has it it will be a Sunday like no other... I'd bring bail money if I were you. Of course, feel free to fill in the gaps I may have forgotten on the tagboard!



Anonymous said...

Let's just say...we got our money's worth at the $15 all-you-can-drink tailgate.


Anonymous said...

while you're at it, why don't you enlighten us about HASH BROWNIE and her incident with the slab of beef at the tailgate party... Heard she didn't even need lube...

Anonymous said...

I got ram-rodded by a piece of filet the size of Napolean Dynomites penis. At least he goes on about it being that big. I got the back ram-rod but Angel got it in the front...we were the life of the party..AS USUAL. Get ready for Sunday is all I ahve to say

~~ Hashbrownie

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