After Auburn's thrilling last second victory over Oregon in last night's BCS Championship Game, Auburn fans rushed out into the streets and began torturing helpless trees on Third Avenue by tossing rolls of toilet paper on them. An interesting tradition the have down in Alabama...

 Remark of the night: "It seems that folks from Alabama finally figured out what toilet paper is used for!"

Every once in awhile one of our regulars will do the unthinkable, something worth sharing with others.  NAPOLEON DYNAMITE is one of those regulars with whom you can count on for doing bizarre acts from time to time.  His latest?  I'll let MR. TANQUERAY share the details.

In keeping with his larger than life nature and ability to consume titanic amounts of hot/spicy food, our good buddy Napoleon Dynamite agreed to take the phaal challenge at Brick Lane on East 6th. The same one from the TV show Man Vs Food

Tonight was the big night. Napoleon met us there at 5:30 and immediately went into the zone, remaining unusually quiet and focused prior to the meal. He declined both beer and smoothie, opting to stick with plain water. Soon the phaal manifested itself at the table like some horrible, foul product of hell. Frankly, it looked like an enormous bowl of shit and it smelled like pepper spray. Napoleon, true to his nature, dove in headfirst. The sweating began immediately. He ate all the chicken within about 2 minutes, staggered about 3 minutes in, collected himself, and then plowed through the bowl of sauce using neither rice nor naan as accompaniment. Straight fucking through. It was amazing.

Within 12 minutes he had eaten all of it. We all decided to taste the phaal by wiping naan into his serving bowl and MOTHER OF GOD WAS IT HOT. Just a swab was painful. But the guy did it. Powered through like a machine. He won a shiny certificate noting his achievement, a gift check for a free beer, and he gets to have his picture go into their online Phaal Of Fame. Congratulations Napoleon. A truly amazing display!

UPDATE: 2 and a half hours after the meal, the phaal is launched a massive counterattack on Napoleon's stomach. Sadly for our friend, phaal was hotter coming out than going in. It turned out to be a looooong night in the Dynamite household.

With the Montreal Canadiens in town to play the New York Rangers tonight, we got a visit from former Ranger and current Canadiens star SCOTT GOMEZ.  He often stops by the bar when in town and is one of the nicest, down-to-earth guys you'd ever want to meet.  I came across one my old copies of Beckett's Magazine with him on the cover as a rookie with the NJ Devils and brought it down for him to sign, which he did.  A class act.

TONIGHT: today is 1/11/11! It's also our weekly edition of DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS, home of the $1 mugs!  In celebration of 20 years of serving up dollar mugs every Tuesday (currently the longest running beer special in Murray Hill), we're rolling back the clock tonight!  When we first opened back in 1991, we served up $1 mugs, ALL DOMESTIC DRAFTS!  Well tonight, we're doing it again!  Stop by after work and enjoy a "retro night" of Dollar Draft Madness!  Enjoy dollar mugs of BLUE MOON, BUD/BUD LIGHT, GOOSE ISLAND MID-WINTER ALE, HOMETOWN NY LAGER, OTTER CREEK ALPINE BLACK IPA, SAM ADAMS BOSTON LAGER, SAM ADAMS "OLD FEZZIWIG ALE" and SMUTTYNOSE WINTER ALE, all night long!



Anonymous said...

That's a great food story. I was waiting to see sweat stained armpits but it looks like he held it together pretty well! I could only imagine what the rest of his evening was like. Poor Mrs. Dynamite! Last week, not even eating something hot, more like bad, I had a Subway sub and was shitting 2.5 hours later. I knew it was the sub, jalapenos have a distinct "flavor" the second time.

B to the...

Touchet said...

Seems to me education is lacking in this college. Covering up the leaves of the trees would most certainly kill them as their leaves wouldn't be able to carry out photosynthesis. Isn't Biology 101 a required class on this campus?

TRoutzong said...

Touchet, Auburn's tradition has nothing to do with the education level in Auburn University. Until you have attended an Auburn game, felt the spirit the students, fans and city has, I don't expect you to get it.