Every once in awhile one of our regulars will do the unthinkable, something worth sharing with others. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE is one of those regulars with whom you can count on for doing bizarre acts from time to time. His latest? I'll let MR. TANQUERAY share the details.
In keeping with his larger than life nature and ability to consume titanic amounts of hot/spicy food, our good buddy Napoleon Dynamite agreed to take the phaal challenge at Brick Lane on East 6th. The same one from the TV show Man Vs Food.
Tonight was the big night. Napoleon met us there at 5:30 and immediately went into the zone, remaining unusually quiet and focused prior to the meal. He declined both beer and smoothie, opting to stick with plain water. Soon the phaal manifested itself at the table like some horrible, foul product of hell. Frankly, it looked like an enormous bowl of shit and it smelled like pepper spray. Napoleon, true to his nature, dove in headfirst. The sweating began immediately. He ate all the chicken within about 2 minutes, staggered about 3 minutes in, collected himself, and then plowed through the bowl of sauce using neither rice nor naan as accompaniment. Straight fucking through. It was amazing.
Within 12 minutes he had eaten all of it. We all decided to taste the phaal by wiping naan into his serving bowl and MOTHER OF GOD WAS IT HOT. Just a swab was painful. But the guy did it. Powered through like a machine. He won a shiny certificate noting his achievement, a gift check for a free beer, and he gets to have his picture go into their online Phaal Of Fame. Congratulations Napoleon. A truly amazing display!
UPDATE: 2 and a half hours after the meal, the phaal is launched a massive counterattack on Napoleon's stomach. Sadly for our friend, phaal was hotter coming out than going in. It turned out to be a looooong night in the Dynamite household.
With the Montreal Canadiens in town to play the New York Rangers tonight, we got a visit from former Ranger and current Canadiens star SCOTT GOMEZ. He often stops by the bar when in town and is one of the nicest, down-to-earth guys you'd ever want to meet. I came across one my old copies of Beckett's Magazine with him on the cover as a rookie with the NJ Devils and brought it down for him to sign, which he did. A class act.