YOU CAN'T WIN THEM ALL...

Monday was a day for recovery from the weekend and for preparations for the upcoming week.  That means doing exciting things like stock inventory, filling orders, meeting up with vendors and beer reps; Exciting.  It's not the most thrilling day of the week but it's a day that can't be ignored either.  It's also the best time to catch me during the week as I am usually camped out at one of the tables, with papers spread out everywhere.  A captive audience so to speak.

So while I am camped out by the window and getting work done, I often see some of the most amazing (and bizarre) shit. For example:

The Professor

There's the Professor (better known as Professor Irwin Corey), a 97-year-old former comedian who spends his days standing out in the middle of busy 35th Street, trying to sell newspapers and driving everyone crazy.  He causes traffic tie ups all day long and whenever you try to guide him out of harm's way, he's right back out there five minutes later, hawking papers for DOUBLE the price.  

Most people feel bad for him so they buy the paper from him anyway.  What's funny about him is that as soon as he runs out of today's paper to sell, he'll try to sell you yesterday's paper or even better, one of those FREE papers that you get when you take the Subway. I shit you not.

 The "FancyPants Jogger"

Then there's the "FancyPants Jogger". First noticed on St. Patrick's Day, this scantily-clad runner made his presence felt immediately by running through a crowd of drunken revelers.  We didn't know at first if he was a male or female until people began noticing his bait and tackle jiggling out of his shorts.  A disturbing sight.  Now he makes it a point to jog by every day, wearing ridiculously loose shorts and doing a Michael Jackson dance at stoplights.  Very odd indeed.

Of course, I'll get to see all sorts of gems during my time at the window, including car accidents, domestic disputes, beautiful women on their lunch break, tourists walking aimlessly with their maps in hand and the occasional panhandler, down on his luck.  To be honest with you, if it weren't for all of these distractions, I'd probably get my work done in half the time it takes now. 

MONDAY NIGHT brought forth a slew of playoff games, with the majority of the crowd there for the Boston/Montreal game.  Montreal was up 2-0 in the series and hosting Game 3. We had a good turnout for the game, in spite of it being the first night of Passover.

We also came across a group of tourists from Montreal, who heard that we carried Habs games here.

They rolled in, saw the game on TV and went nuts!  They immediately made their presence felt and got the rest of the crowd going, singing "Go Habs Go" whenever they made a great play.  The Habs fell behind 3-0, rallied to cut the league to 3-2 but eventually falling short, losing the game and disappointing the fans at the bar.  The good news is that they still lead the series, 2-1.  Next game: Thursday night (7pm, w/audio).

During the course of the game, we got a visit from our favorite group of Aussies, members of the Australian Army.  They come by the bar every time they visit NYC and they are a fun bunch of guys.  So there they are, holding court at the front end of the bar when a couple of young ladies come in.  As it turns out, they were Aussies as well.  Well, as one would expect, they hit it off and began hanging out with one another, going drink for drink, shot for shot.  Of course, the girls can't keep up and one of them went outside "for air"... which led to a nice puddle of puke on the sidewalk.  Great.

To make matters worse, doll baby then proceeds to stagger back in and I could tell immediately that her time in the rodeo was up.  As I made my way over to her, she made a beeline over towards the back of the bar.  I think she was trying to find the bathroom, but instead, she found the back room and when she tried to open the closet door, she fell back and broke our tabletop.  Great.  Buh-bye kiddo.  Of course, she tried to come back in a few times but I put the kibbosh on that quickly.

The hijinks for the evening finally ended with us tossing out a drunk couple in the middle of a breakup.  One minute, they would be talking, next minute, both of them would be crying. One would storm out of the bar and come back in a few minutes later, then the other would do the same thing.  Finally I had enough of the drama and tossed both of them out.  Idiots.  Of course, as I look down the block, there they are, making out and dry-humping in the middle of 3rd Avenue.  You can't make this stuff up.

TONIGHT: Catch the Knicks vs Celtics, Game 2 (7pm) live with audio during DOLLAR DRAFT MADNESS (in its 20th year), featuring $1 Bud/Bud Light mugs, ALL NIGHT LONG!